


Place Your Betts

by tumblruserpailylove



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: 5 Years Later, A real one, Almost Kiss, Angst, Brutal Honesty, Canon-ish, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Closure, Competition, Confrontation, Drunk Emily, Emotional Manipulation, Epiphanies, Existential Crisis, F/F, Fireworks, First Meetings, Fourth of July, Hanna being Hanna, Happy Ending, Holidays, Homecoming, Humor, Hurt feelings, Manipulative Relationship, Old Flames, Old Friends, Oops, Post-Canon, Reminiscing, They can't help it, Truth Bombs, Unhappy marriage, ali is still a bully, alison is still manipulative, but alison actually shows an emotion too, canon adjacent, even just as friends, i mean as far as how the original series ended, i wrote my own happy ending for paige, i'm gonna warn y'all now, is that what it's called?, it's like an extension of that, kind of, literal ones not metaphorical ones, old feelings resurface, paige being awkward, paige has grown the fuck up, paige is so wise, paige stands her ground, paige's dad is sick, paily is not endgame, paily will always be inevitable, playful banter, reconnecting, she ain't playing games no more, she deserves it, surprise wife, the radley hotel, they love to challenge each other, unhappy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-04-07 08:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19081741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumblruserpailylove/pseuds/tumblruserpailylove
Summary: It’s been five years since Emily and Paige last saw one another. After an unexpected run-in it’s easy to see their friendship isn’t what it used to be. Paige isn’t being polite anymore and Emily is not a fan of what she has to say. Faced with the brutal truth from an unexpected place Emily starts an emotional downward spiral as she re-evaluates the decision she made 5 years earlier. In the midst of her crisis she finds herself seeking solace from the only person that has ever consistently grounded her: Paige McCullers. But is it too late? Or will they fall back into old habits despite the fact that so much has changed?**This is an older story I wrote over a year ago. I am just moving it from my tumblr to here!**I mean it's definitely not canon but it's not too far off from canon? Canon adjacent?





	1. Lay your cards on the table

Emily bounced happily out to her bike with her arms loaded up with grocery bags. She grinned as she unloaded her arms into the basket on the front of her bike. Once they were all settled she mounted the bike, flipped back the kickstand holding it up, and pushed off the curb.

As she zoomed down the street, wind blowing through her hair, she drew in a deep breath. She loved her job. She got to be outside for most of the day. She got to ride her bike all over town, which kept her in shape, and most importantly she was the owner so she made her own schedule. She was so happy to have found something she was actually passionate about that she could make a real career out of. Other than swimming. But it had gotten to a point where coaching swimming had become sad and she had to quit to focus on something that would bring her light again.

This brought her light. It was simple work but there was a lot to it. It didn’t matter, though. She was helping people in her hometown and every night she went home with a smile on her face. She couldn’t ask for much more as far as work was concerned.

As Emily reached her destination, she parked her bike on the sidewalk, climbed off it, and propped it in place with the kickstand. She hummed to herself as she reloaded the bags onto her arms then turned to head to the front door of a home she was all too familiar with. She had regulars in town and this was one of the many.

As she climbed the steps she paused at the mailbox mounted next to the door and opened it with the single finger she could manage to spare in holding all of the bags. She peeked inside and when she saw a letter she shifted the weight of the bags enough to free a second finger in order to grab the mail out of the box.

Once she had a good grip on everything again she reached out with her elbow and used it to press the doorbell. She would usually walk right in but today the load was particularly large and she didn’t have the free hand to work the doorknob. So, she waited. She hummed softly, glancing around the front of the house and the yard it sat in while she waited for an answer.

“It’s the groceries, dad! I got it!” A familiar voice called out as the interior door was pulled open. The owner of the voice reached for the handle of the screen door but stopped dead when her eyes turned forward from yelling behind to focus on who was standing on her porch. She blinked and gave a single shake of her head “Emily?”

“P-Paige?” Emily mumbled in complete shock when her attention focused on the person answering the door. “What…” She let out a puff and laughed softly “What are you doing here?”

“This is my parents’ house” Paige deadpanned. She stared blankly at the other woman in front of her before blinking again. “You’re the grocery delivery girl?”

“Kind of?” Emily breathed out a laugh that held a little bit of offense at the description of herself from Paige. “I own the business, actually. But, yeah, I like to do delivery runs too. Gets me outside.”

“Oh” Paige gave a single nod. Her face had not brightened once since seeing her old flame standing on the porch with her arms full of bags. She was actually half in shock and half upset at what was unfolding.

“I’m sorry, I’d love to catch up and all but…” Emily grunted and shifted in order to readjust one of the bags that was slipping from her hand “…can I get a little help here?”

“Right” Paige rolled her eyes at herself and laughed softly before pushing the screen door open now. She stepped out on the porch and took as many bags as she could. She offered a little shrug once she held half the load “Better?”

“Yes. Thank you” Emily stared at Paige with a soft smile on her lips for a second. It was so good to see her.

Paige was a little uncomfortable with how Emily looked at her. She cleared her throat and looked away, motioning to the door “Let’s go put these inside.” She reached for the handle and pulled it open, stepping aside to let Emily in first.

Emily perked an eyebrow to herself as she stepped passed Paige. There was something different about her. She didn’t seem to be her happy self. She definitely did not seem too thrilled to be seeing Emily. The little glint in her eye she used to hold every time they ran into each other was gone.

“On the counter will be fine” Paige mumbled from behind Emily as she followed her inside. They moved into the kitchen and both unloaded the groceries onto the counter. 

Emily turned and offered out the mail she had grabbed once her hands were empty. “Here” She gave Paige a smile, shrugging before looking at the letter. “I usually just grab it. Your mom forgets to check it sometimes.”

“Thanks” Paige took the letter from her gently. She eyed it and even though it wasn’t addressed to her she pretended to be interested in it so she wouldn’t have to look at Emily. 

An awkward silence fell between them. Emily looked around the kitchen as she rocked back and forth on her toes. It was clean. Cleaner than usual. She licked her lips and cleared her throat to break the deafening silence that had settled in “So, what brings you to town?”

Paige glanced up from the letter she had been studying. She lifted one shoulder in a shrug and turned away from Emily to set the letter on the counter since it didn’t seem to be urgent. “Mom had to go out of town for work. Someone had to come take care of dad. Since it’s summer time I wasn’t really doing much…”

“Oh” Emily nodded once. She pursed her lips and dropped her hands to wipe at the front of the shorts she wore. She looked around the kitchen and used her hands to tap lightly at her thighs. She nodded a few times then looked back at Paige again. She drew in another deep breath and relented a sigh “How is he?”

Paige shrugged again. She moved around her kitchen to put the counter top island between herself and Emily. She reached for a cup now from the cupboard and filled it with water at the sink. She kept her back to Emily as she sipped from it. Once she had swallowed, she looked out the window that looked over her backyard and spoke. “About the same as the last time I was home. At least he still recognizes me.”

“Well you have a very memorable face!” Emily offered with a smile. She rocked up on her toes again and when Paige didn’t even turn to acknowledge her, she let out a defeated puff of air. She shrugged and put her hands in her pockets now “You look great, by the way.”

Paige rolled her eyes. She turned around now and fixed Emily with a firm stare that told her she was not in the mood for pleasantries. “How are Ali and the baby?”

“Babies” Emily corrected her softly. She bit her lip and looked down at her feet to avoiding seeing the way Paige was scowling at her. She had never imagined the girl could be this cold to her. She cleared her throat and steeled her nerves before looking back up “They’re great. They’re starting school this fall.”

“Great” Paige repeated the word Emily had used and gave a nod. She put on a forced smile then motioned toward the kitchen table behind where Emily stood “I guess I’ll get you your payment and you can be on your way.”

Emily arched an eyebrow slightly at how Paige was acting. She seemed as if she couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She didn’t argue. She just stepped aside and gave a nod as Paige moved passed her to where her purse was laying on the table. She watched her dig through it and let out a soft sigh “How have you been?”

Paige whirled around and held out a few bills of cash toward Emily. Again the forced smile came to her lips and she shrugged “Living the dream, as the saying goes.” She nodded down to the money she held and pushed it a little closer to Emily.

Emily rolled her eyes and took the cash. She stuffed it into the front pocket of her shorts and shrugged “Really? After everything we’ve been through you can’t even pretend to be happy to see me?”

Paige rolled her eyes now too and folded her arms across her chest “What do you want from me Emily? I could have slammed the door in your face.”

Emily’s face dropped and she gave a very displeased grunt of frustration “So I should be thanking you for your kindness? Is that what you’re implying?”

Paige shrugged and pushed a fake happy smile onto her features “Exactly.”

“Are you kidding me?” Emily’s eyes rolled again and she shifted on her feet as she folded her arms, stiffening her stance. “We haven’t seen each other in five years and you can stand here and say you aren’t at least the tiniest bit happy to see me?”

“Yup” Paige gave a little wave as she stepped passed Emily now and made her way to the bags of groceries. She opened the tops and started pulling items out.

“Why are you acting like this? The last time we talked you understood what I had to do” Emily’s arms were still crossed over her chest but her stance was softened now.

“I did” Paige mumbled, pulling out some bread and turning to toss it on the counter. “I do” She looked up at Emily and offered her a shrug. “I mean, at the time, it kind of seemed like a no-win situation either way so I wasn’t too disappointed that you were trying to do what seemed like the right thing.”

“What do you mean at the time?” Emily shrugged, moving to the island in the middle of the kitchen now and leaning against it.

Paige just shrugged. She was quiet as she unloaded a few more items. She glanced up at Emily after a moment of working and shook her head “The more I’ve thought about it over the years the more I realized you literally had no obligation to that entire situation.”

“They were my eggs” Emily threw her hand out to the side to emphasize herself.

“So?” Paige threw her hand out to the side to mock Emily’s movement. “You never asked for kids. You weren’t trying to have kids when you donated the eggs. You weren’t even with Ali when she got knocked up. She was the married one. She was the one that wanted kids. You were manipulated by her to stay.”

“Oh please” Emily’s hands dropped to her sides with a heavy slap. “She didn’t inseminate herself just to trick me into staying. She had no idea it had even happened until it was too late.”

“You believe that?” Paige offered with a shrug of one shoulder.

“Of course I do” Emily’s brows creased into a frown. “Ali was an innocent part of this.”

“And yet, in the end, she got everything she wanted” Paige nearly spit the words out. She gave her head a shake and turned her back to Emily again. She started shuffling around, putting things away once more.

Emily let out a sigh. She knew that the decision she had made had been hard on Paige. It hadn’t been easy on herself, either. But she had done what she felt was right. She had stepped up.

“Do you think you’re some sort of saint?” Paige whirled around from where she had been ignoring Emily, a fire now blazing in her eyes.

“Excuse you?” Emily’s eyes went wide and her chest puffed up a little in defense.

“You think that you saved Ali from having to be a single parent?” Paige threw her hands up in exasperation and let out a disgusted laugh. “She could have gotten an abortion. She had the appointment made, you know? She was doing the right thing.”

“Those are my children” Emily spat out in a near growl.

Paige rolled her eyes at that. She folded her arms and let her hips come to rest on the counter top behind her. “That’s not what I meant. I am sure they are great kids and I am sure you love them very much.”

“I do” Emily said softly.

Paige nodded at that. She softened her tone when she spoke next, hesitating just a moment before asking the question that had haunted her for over five years “Do you ever look back and wonder what could have been? I mean, honestly Em. No judgment.”

Emily shook her head. She dropped her eyes to look at her hands that had both come to rest against the top of the island counter. She tapped her fingers and her eyes fell to the ring Ali had given her five years earlier. She chewed at her lip as she gave real thought to the question. It wasn’t a new question she had to face. She had, more than once, thought about it. 

Paige gave a nod to Emily’s silence. She shook her head when her eyes fell to Emily’s hand and she saw the ring from Ali sitting there. She let out a breath that had a hint of disgust in it and spoke “Still no date, huh?”

Emily looked up to Paige quickly. She moved to push her left hand into her pocket and shook her head “We’ve decided there’s no need to rush.”

“We?” Paige asked with a hint of disbelief in her tone. “Or is it more like she decided?”

Emily’s shoulders slumped for just a second but it was enough to give away the answer. She cleared her throat and straightened up again quickly “We’re both very busy. Owning a business and teaching and taking care of twins doesn’t leave a lot of room for extracurricular activities.”

“What a crock of shit” Paige mumbled out with a roll of her eyes. She turned her back to Emily again. She once more went to work on the rest of the groceries.

“Listen, you have no room to place judgment on my life. You disappeared for five years. You aren’t even a friend anymore, apparently. So I don’t want to hear your input” Emily nearly growled the last of her words.

“Why?” Paige whirled around now, both hands lifted in a shrug. “Because I’m right? Because the truth hurts? Because you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life?”

“Those are my kids!” Emily yelled now and slammed her fist to the top of the island.

“Forget the damn kids, Emily! This isn’t about the damn kids. It’s about the fact that you were manipulated into giving Alison everything she wanted. Now look where you are” Paige motioned to Emily’s entire being and shook her head “Stuck in the town you grew up in, raising kids you never even wanted, and waiting for the day Alison will finally marry you so you can once and for all rest assured that she isn’t going to leave you.”

“Screw you, Paige!” Emily huffed out and turned on her heels. She stormed out of the kitchen and through the front door with a slam. Every step was pounded harder and harder into the cement on her way to her bike. Anger seethed through her every nerve. She could not believe Paige had the audacity to speak to her like that. Once she reached her bike she mounted it quickly and pushed off the curb feverishly. She couldn’t pedal fast enough. She wanted to get as far away from Paige McCullers as she possibly could.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Can you believe that? I mean can you actually believe that?” Emily wailed as she moved her hand around as she spoke, sloshing the drink she held around as she did so.

“Yeah, kind of” Hanna said with a serious shrug as she reached out to stop Emily’s hand from flailing about so she could take her drink. They were sitting in the lobby of The Radley having a few drinks. Well Emily was having a few. Hanna was sticking to club soda.

Emily frowned at her friend when she stopped her arm and pulled the drink from her hand. “Give that back” She pouted.

“I think you’ve had enough” Hanna nodded as she placed the drink on a table next to her side so Emily couldn’t get to it. “Are you supposed to be drinking? Doesn’t Ali hate when you drink?”

“Screw Ali. I’m a grown ass woman” Emily mumbled and folded her arms as she sunk deeper into her pout and slid further down into her chair.

Hanna watched her friend with arched brows for a moment before giving her head a shake “Em, why did what Paige said upset you so much? I mean the girl will probably always be heartbroken over you. She was just being mean. She wanted to hurt you, too.”

Emily rolled her eyes. She let out a heavy puff of air and looked around. She curled her lip as she saw a happy couple kiss before getting onto the elevator and heading up to their room. She sighed and looked down at her hand now. She held her left hand up, inspecting the ring that Ali had given her so many years earlier, and shook her head “Maybe she’s right?”

Hanna perked an eyebrow at this. She settled back in her chair now that she didn’t have to fight Emily off of the alcohol anymore. She crossed her legs at the knees and shook her head “You really think Ali manipulated you?”

“Maybe” Emily grumbled. She dropped her hand that held the ring then looked up at Hanna from where she sat squished deep in her chair. She pursed her lips together as she thought about it then sighed. She grabbed onto the arms of the chair and pulled until she was upright once more “Are you happy?”

“Yeah” Hanna almost laughed at the question. “Of course I’m happy. Do you think I’d still be with Caleb if I wasn’t?”

Emily tilted her head to the side in a sort of shrug type motion. She was quiet again as the wheels of thought ticked around in her head. She chewed the inside of her cheeks while she thought before making a ‘tsk’ sound as she sucked her tongue up against her teeth “I’m gonna do it.”

“Do what?” Hanna’s eyes went wide in terror at whatever drunk Emily had just come up with.

Emily stood up now and looked down at Hanna with determination on her face “I’m gonna make Ali set a date. It’s been long enough. We have a life together. We have kids together. There is no reason we shouldn’t just make it official and stop farting around.”

“Woah, hold on a second” Hanna held up her hands in a stop motion to try and prevent Emily from going anywhere. She got to her feet and when her friend hadn’t stormed out, she reached out and gently took her hand “Alison wouldn’t be with you, she wouldn’t be building a life with you, if she wasn’t serious.”

“So?” Emily shrugged and pulled herself out of Hanna’s touch. “You can be serious and still not….” She motioned her hand in a circle to try and think of the right word. When that failed, she threw her hands up in defeat and sighed “…be serious! There are different levels of serious. I don’t think that Ali is serious serious.”

“Hey” Hanna stood now to draw level with Emily. She put a hand on her friend’s arm and spoke gently. “Do you really think if Ali wasn’t serious serious she would have stuck around?”

“Yes” Emily spat out with a chuckle. “Yes because that’s what she does. She gets what she wants and she uses people to get it no matter what it takes.” She shook her head at that and threw a hand up in exasperation “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed it before now.”

“Okay, sweetie, you’re drunk” Hanna said softly. “And what Paige said was purposely hurtful. She knew which emotional strings to pull on you to make the most impact. I think what you should do is go home, kiss your adorable little girls goodnight, and sleep it off.”

“Don’t” Emily pulled her arm away from Hanna fiercely. “Don’t do that. Don’t talk to my like I’m a child and don’t know how to handle myself. I am a grown ass woman, damn it.”

“Hey, I never said you were-”

“You know what?” Emily stepped back from Hanna now completely. She stared at her friend as if she was really seeing her for the first time and she did not like what she saw “You have all been doing that to me my entire life. Oh poor Emily she’s not the smartest. Let’s talk down to her so she understands.” Her tone was mocking as she spoke. She shook her head and took another step back “I can’t….I can’t even look at you right now!”

“Emily, wait” Hanna called but it was too late. Her friend was surprisingly nimble for how drunk she was. She had quickly managed to turn and take off. Hanna let out a sigh as she watched her go. She shook her head and as she gathered her things to give chase to Emily, she mumbled a soft “Damn it, Paige” under her breath.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Hey!” Emily yelled loudly from where she stood on the sidewalk in front of the McCullers home. She stared up at the window that she knew was Paige’s bedroom and waited. It was dark. The street was dark. The houses around her were dark. The only lights that were glowing were the street light on the corner and the bulb on the porch of the McCullers home. 

When there was no response to her yelling she started to look around her feet. She found a few rocks and scooped them up. She sorted through them to find one she could throw then dropped the rest. She wound up, took aim, and threw her arm forward with all her might. The rock gave a clink as it hit the glass at Paige’s window and she smiled proudly at that. “Hey!”

Again there was silence. Emily scowled at the bedroom window as if it were blocking the noise of her shouts on purpose. She yelled out louder “PAIGE!” before starting to look around the grass where she stood for another rock.

The light in the room flipped on suddenly and Paige threw the window open in annoyance. She leaned out enough to see onto the sidewalk and when she saw it was Emily making all the noise she shook her head “Are you kidding me right now? It’s the middle of the night! You are going to wake the entire neighborhood up!”

“Good” Emily hissed sarcastically. She motioned with her hand in a beckoning fashion “Get down here. I have to talk to you.”

“Emily, no” Paige shook her head and let out a sigh. “I can tell from here you’re trashed. Go home.”

“Get down here!” Emily yelled more loudly than she needed to.

A shout came from a few houses down for whoever was yelling to shut up. Paige sighed and motioned out the window in the direction of the voice “See? Now shut up before you wake up my dad.”

“Paige McCullers if you don’t get your ass-”

“Fine!” Paige yelled to shut Emily up. She let out a sigh and slid her window shut. She pulled her robe more tightly around herself, tying it closed, before exiting her room. She moved down the hallway to her father’s room, standing just outside to listen in for a moment. When she didn’t hear anything she sighed in relief that he hadn’t been woken up. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and turned to head down the stairs now.

Emily was waiting not so patiently on the porch. She kept looking in the windows for movement, wondering if Paige had said she would come down just to shut her up. When she didn’t see anything after a minute she took a step back and opened her mouth, about to yell again.

“Hey” Paige whispered, holding her hand up to quiet Emily as she stepped out onto the porch. She perked an eyebrow at the woman then shrugged “What do you want?”

“Why did you say such mean things?” Emily tried to whisper but it came out a little too aggressively and ended up at normal volume.

Paige folded her arms across her chest. She was exhausted. Taking care of her father was a full time job. It was the middle of the night. She had no strength to fight. “You’re drunk.”

“Just answer the question” Emily threw her hands out to her sides, holding them up in two full arm shrugs that she pushed to her ears and held for longer than needed.

“Emily, come on…” Paige spoke calmly as she stepped forward and grabbed onto both of Emily’s arms. She did so gently, trying to ease the woman’s arms back to her sides. When Emily relented and her arms dropped down, Paige gave a nod and stepped back again.

“Paige…” Emily breathed out softly, her demeanor changing immediately. She went from puffed out and defensive to looking defeated and tired.

“Hmmm?” Paige hummed out softly, her eyes trained on Emily’s every moment. She wasn’t sure what Emily was capable of or what exactly she had in mind. She needed to be ready for anything.

“Why did you” Emily hiccuped in the middle of her sentence. She blinked slowly and drew in a slow breath and tried again “Why did you say what you said?”

Paige let out a heavy sigh. She had a feeling she was not going to get out of this night without talking to Emily about this. She motioned with her head and reached for Emily’s hand “How about we get some coffee?”

Emily eyed Paige suspiciously for a moment. Then she shrugged and reached out to take Paige’s hand.

“You have to be quiet though, please” Paige said softly as she pulled the screen door open for the two of them and led Emily inside. “My dad is asleep.”

“Okay” Emily nodded quickly as she tiptoed behind Paige and looked around as if she were sneaking into the house. 

Paige smirked in amusement at that. She had always fully enjoyed drunk Emily. She led the girl over and had her take a seat at one of the stools that lined the island countertop. Once she was settled down, Paige turned to put together the stuff she needed to brew a cup of coffee.

Emily propped herself up on the counter top. She rested her elbow on the counter and put her head on her hand. She watched Paige move and smiled when the girl turned around to check on her “Still here. See? I can be quiet.”

Paige laughed at that and shook her head. She stared at the coffee while it brewed. It was a fairly silent few minutes, the only sound was the gurgling of the coffee maker, before it was done. Paige fetched out two mugs and poured some coffee into each. She made the coffee the way she remembered Emily liking it then turned and made her way to the girl. She set the mug in front of Emily then took a seat next to her on her own stool.

“You remember how I take my coffee?” Emily mused with a smile as she grabbed her mug.

“Not like it’s hard” Paige shrugged it off and sipped at her own mug. She swallowed the warm liquid and after it settled she cleared her throat. “Why are drunk?”

“Because I can be” Emily grumbled sarcastically.

“Okay, this isn’t going to work” Paige threw her hands up and stood from her stool.

“Fine fine” Emily sighed, reaching out to stop Paige. When the girl eyed her suspiciously, Emily rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of surrender “I’ll behave.”

Paige only half believed her. She sat back down regardless and as she lifted her mug to take another drink she motioned to Emily to go ahead and speak.

Emily cleared her throat. She looked down at her coffee for a moment to think about what she wanted to say. There was a lot going on in her head and she had to pin down what was most important. After deciding, she gave a nod and looked back at Paige “Did you say all of those things about Ali because you wanted to hurt me because you’re still mad I chose her?”

“No” Paige puffed out some air because that was laughable to her. She looked back at Emily and fixed her with a serious look as she spoke evenly “Emily I said those things because I believe with all that I am that they are true.”

“Why?” Emily’s entire face curled down into a frown.

“Because” Paige shrugged one shoulder. She motioned to Emily then threw her hand to the side with a sigh “Em, I know you’ve always been blinded by her because you were involved. You were friends and then you realized you had a thing for her and then she was dead and then she wasn’t and…” She pushed her hair off her eyes and shook her head “…I am not under her spell. I have always been able to see who she really is and what she is really doing. I’ve seen it since the first day I ever saw you two at school. She’s so good at it you’ve never noticed.”

“She didn’t get herself pregnant” Emily argued weakly.

“I know” Paige nodded in agreement. “But she used it to her advantage regardless. She’s like a chameleon. She can adapt to her surroundings. She’s a survivor.”

Emily frowned and looked back into her coffee. She watched the steam rise out of the cup and into the air as she thought it over. She chewed her inner cheek for a moment before her eyes lifted and she looked back at Paige with just a shake of her head “If you’ve always felt this way why didn’t you say something?”

“Because” Paige breathed out a sound that almost sounded like a laugh. “Because there was nothing I wouldn’t have done in high school to be with you. You knew that. Everyone knew that. What was I going to do? Tell you that the object of your unrequited affection who may or may not be dead was actually really terrible?” She shook her head and glanced at her coffee now “I would have sounded like I was just trying to make her look bad so you would pick me.”

“I wouldn’t have believed you anyway” Emily said with a shake of her head. “I was stubborn back then. Had to be with everything else going on.”

“Exactly” Paige glanced back up at Emily with a nod. “You would have thought I was just saying it to be spiteful because I wanted you and I felt I couldn’t compete. You would have thought I was petty and manipulative because whenever anyone went against what you girls all believed, it was because they had something up their sleeve.” She laughed but there wasn’t any actual amusement in it “At least that’s what you all thought. The only person who ever got away with telling you girls the opposite of what you wanted to hear was Alison.” Her cheeks puffed out filled with air and she slowly let that air out in a long breath “She manipulated you all and no one was ever able to make you girls believe it.”

Emily slumped a little in her stool. Her finger moved slowly around the rim of her mug and her eyes traced it’s movements slowly. She wasn’t even sure where to go from there. It was all too much. She had always had a hard time accepting the truth. Then again she had always been surrounded by truths that seemed too crazy to believe. She had a skewed sense of what true and false really meant. She perceived life differently than most. 

Paige frowned just slightly at the distress she could see in Emily. She slowly reached out and placed a hand over one of Emily’s against the counter. She could feel the ring that Alison had gotten Emily and she wanted to pull away. But instead she squeezed Emily’s hand and spoke gently “I’m sorry, Em.”

“For what?” Emily shook her head and looked up from her coffee to find Paige’s kind eyes looking at her with sincere concern. “For finally telling me how you feel after all these years?”

Paige shrugged and gave her head a shake “The last thing I ever wanted to do was interrupt your life, Emily. I’ve stayed away for a reason. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bite my tongue forever. But I didn’t want you to ever hear this from me, either. I wanted to stay out of it.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Emily’s brow creased into another frown and she pulled her hand out from under Paige’s.

“Because” Paige shook her head and pulled her hand back to lay in her own lap. “You were here suddenly and it caught me off guard. I might still be a little upset about the decision you made and I’ve realized after all these years that it didn’t matter what I thought.” She licked at her lips and lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug “So why play nice?”

“Because you are nice, Paige” Emily breathed out in a bit of frustration. “You’re sweet and caring and one of the most thoughtful people I have ever known. You are brave and pure and you don’t get off by being terrible or sneaky.” She shook her head back and forth quickly and drew in a heavy breath to try and calm her heart that had suddenly started thundering against her chest. “You were everything in this world that I didn’t have. You kept me grounded and you were my center for so long.” She stood now, her head still shaking. She waved her hand to the side and turned toward the door “I can’t. I have to get out of here.”

Paige got up quickly and reached for Emily “Em, wait.”

“What?” Emily whirled around quickly, her eyes filled with anger and hurt as she stared at Paige expectantly.

“Are you…” Paige breathed out softly, her voice trembling now “Are you alright?”

“No” Emily said with a defeated shake of her head. “No I’m not. So congratulations.”

“Congratulations?” Paige blinked in confusion.

“You got exactly what you wanted” Emily tugged her arm out of Paige’s hand. She turned and stormed out of the house again.

When the door slammed, Paige flinched. She looked up toward the ceiling hoping her father hadn’t woken up. She then dropped her face into her hands and let out a heavy sigh. This was exactly why she had wanted to go to her grave never seeing Emily again. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to bite her tongue. Now, she feared, she had done the exact thing she was trying to avoid. She had probably just ruined Emily’s fairytale life like a brick being thrown through a window.  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

A glass was set by Emily’s head on the table near her bed. She groaned as the sound pulled her from sleep and the light surrounded her. There was too much light. It hurt. Her eyes weren’t even open yet and she could feel the burn of the light around her.

“You were out late” Alison’s bored voice spoke as she moved around the room getting ready for work.

Emily groaned and sat up in bed. She reached for the water and took a long drink from it. Her mouth welcomed it like the desert welcomed the rain storms. She let out a heavy sigh once she swallowed and set the glass back down “Are the girls up yet?”

“Not yet” Alison said calmly. She stood at the full length mirror, preening herself, watching Emily sit up in bed in the reflection.

Emily nodded and rubbed at the side of her head. Man she forgot why she didn’t drink like she used to in college. Well, when Paige was in college. She never really actually went to college. She glanced up and looked at Ali in the mirror. When she saw the stern look on her face, she rolled her eyes “I’ll go get breakfast started.”

“Glad you’ve decided to ignore the fact that you were out late” Alison said blandly and reached for some lipstick to apply.

“Am I not allowed to have a night out?” Emily grumbled as she moved to grab her robe from where it hung on the back of their adjoining bathroom door.

“Not when that night out involves you getting drunk and going over to your ex-girlfriend’s house” Alison put her lipstick down and turned to look Emily straight forward instead of through the mirror. “Care to explain?”

Emily thought about it for a moment. How could she explain, really? She gave up just a shake of her head and tied her robe closed “We had a fight. You know when I get drunk I can get angry. I went over there to continue our fight.”

“When did you have a fight?” Alison blinked just once, her face still rather emotionless.

“When I dropped groceries at her house yesterday” Emily said with a shrug.

“Why were you the one that dropped off groceries there when you know it’s her parents’ house?”

“Because it’s her parents’ house” Emily scoffed. “Her parents, who I have been delivering groceries to since her dad’s stroke, have been loyal customers for years. She doesn’t live there with them. It’s not like I even knew she was there. She caught me just as off guard as you are right now.”

Alison fought off an eyeroll. She turned back to the mirror and reached for some eye shadow now “So she just so happens to be hanging out there on the same day you delivered the groceries?”

“Oh my god, yes, Alison” Emily threw her hands up with a grunt. “When the order came in for their address I didn’t think twice about it. Her mom likes me and I like the fact that I’m helping them out. Just like I like the fact that I deliver groceries to every other old and disabled person in this town. It’s my job. I grew up here and I know everyone personally. There is no secret agenda. Like I said, I had no idea she was in town.”

Alison stared at Emily through the mirror again. She did not like her tone very much. 

“What?” Emily gave a shake of her head, daring Alison to challenge her further.

“What did you two possibly have to fight about?”

“She was kind of a dick to me” Emily mumbled a little more softly. She folded her arms and shrugged her shoulders “She pretty much acted like seeing me was the worst thing in the world. When I tried to be nice she got hostile and said some mean things.”

“About?” Alison once more turned away from the mirror to look at Emily. This time an eyebrow was arched finely on her forehead as if she had just cocked a gun and was now waiting to pull the trigger.

Emily rolled her eyes and used her hand to wave a few times in front of her as if trying to brush it off as no big deal “The past. It was stupid now that I think about it.”

Alison’s gaze flickered up and down Emily’s body once. She was hiding something, she could tell. Emily was an awful liar, always had been. She lowered her eyebrow and her face softened slightly. She turned back to the mirror and leaned closer to apply more make up “The girls will be up soon.”

Emily gave a single nod. She was glad Ali hadn’t pushed. She was also kind of annoyed she seemed to just accept it and not push. That was Ali, though. She took information, processed it, decided what to do with it, and then acted. Until then, everyone else just had to wait.

Alison watched Emily move now through the room toward the door. She waited until she was nearly in the hallway to straighten from the mirror again “Hey, Emily?”

“Yeah?” Emily turned back into the room, eyebrows lifting on her forehead in questioning.

“Maybe after dinner tonight you and I can crack open a bottle of wine and talk about setting a date?”

Emily blinked just once in surprise. That was the last thing she had ever expected to come out of Alison’s mouth. She gave a slow few nods and and a smile came to her lips “Okay.”

Alison finally smiled. It was barely a smile but it broke the otherwise stoic expression she had been holding onto all morning. She nodded too then turned back to the mirror “I feel like French Toast today.”

Emily’s smile faded and she gave a nod. She used her hand to salute Alison then turned without another word. She drew in a deep breath then pushed it out through her nose in a huff. Maybe Paige was right. Maybe Alison only gave in when she knew she could use the supposed gesture of giving to her own advantage.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	2. Rely on the Gutshot

Emily stared down at the ring on her hand where it gripped tightly at her bike handle. She had just made the last run of the day and was supposed to be heading back to the store to close up. Instead she found herself parked outside the McCullers home. She chewed at her lip as her eyes focused on the rock mounted on the ring. It felt heavy. It felt fake. It felt wrong.

She shook her head and pulled her hand off the bike handle. Her eyes lifted and she looked up at the house. She wondered if Paige was home. She let out a sigh and dismounted her bike. She leaned it against one of the trees near the sidewalk and made her way up the front stairs. She had no idea why but she was suddenly nervous about knocking. What if Paige yelled at her again?

“Oh!” Paige squeaked out in fright when she opened her front door and was greeted with Emily coming onto the porch. She had her hand wrapped around the top of a closed garbage bag. Her eyes focused on the girl on her porch and she cocked her head to the side “Emily, what are you doing?”

“I was coming to see you” Emily said almost shyly. She rocked up from her heels onto her toes and offered a smile. Then her eyes dropped and she saw Paige was holding garbage and she quickly jumped into action “I’m sorry! Here, let me!”

“I got it” Paige laughed as she pushed the screen door open now that Emily wasn’t in the way and headed to the trash bin at the end of the porch. She dumped it in, closed the lid she had opened, then brushed her hands together. When she turned around and saw Emily watching her, she pushed a smile to her lips and tilted her head to the side in interest “Well here I am.”

“Right” Emily laughed nervously and pushed the palms of her hands along the tops of her thighs to wipe away the sweat that had gathered there. Why was she suddenly so nervous? She shook away the thought then motioned to the steps “Do you have a second to sit?”

“Sure” Paige said with a gentle nod. She moved slowly to the top step of the porch and sat beside Emily who had settled there first. Once she was seated she glanced to her left side where Emily sat and shrugged “I am trying to be polite here, Em, but I do have a lot to do so whatever it is you want to say just spit it out.”

“I think you’re right” Emily mumbled urgently almost like if she didn’t say it now she would swallow the words forever.

Paige just gave a single nod. Her face remained pretty neutral but her eyes stayed on the woman beside her “About Alison?”

Emily nodded quickly. She stared at Paige’s gentle features and her kind eyes and she felt her heart flip into her stomach. She had to draw in breath to compose herself. She licked her lips and cleared her throat “She knows I came here last night. She asked me all these questions this morning like I was on trial or something.”

“Well you were hanging out at your ex’s house while drunk” Paige state plainly. “I can see why.”

“That’s not the point” Emily waved off the subject. “So after she grills me about what happened here last night she was suddenly like..” She cleared her throat and her voice changed to mimic Alison’s “Hey let’s talk about setting a date tonight.”

Paige’s eyes went wide. She turned a little toward Emily, having been keeping her body facing forward completely, and she pointed at her “Dude, Em, I told you.”

Emily’s jaw dropped and she let out scoff of a breath “I couldn’t believe it! If I had drunkenly yelled at anyone else in the middle of the night she probably would have scolded me and told me I needed rehab or something. But because it was you she gets suspicious and wants to set a date NOW?” Her voice rose an octave on the last word.

Paige shrugged, huffing through her nose with a tiny laugh “See? I’m not like some deranged jealous crazy ex here. This is some real shit.”

Emily cocked her head to the side at the expression from Paige “Since when do you swear?”

Paige rolled her eyes slightly “I have found an affinity for it over the years. Sometimes the only words that can fully capture the emphasis of the moment are those we consider to be bad.”

“I like it” Emily smirked with a laugh. The two girls shared a moment of giggles before Emily sighed out in defeat. She shrugged and looked pretty dismayed as her eyes dropped to her feet “How have I been an idiot for this long?”

“Em, you’re not an idiot” Paige objected as she moved her hand now to rub along Emily’s back in an attempt to offer some comfort. “Love makes all of us blind in some ways. We see and hear what we want to. I mean, Hell, you were the first girl I ever loved. I honestly believed that if I couldn’t be with you I didn’t want to be with anyone else.” She chuckled at that softly and gave her head a shake “Sometimes you have to get outside the love bubble to see what everyone else can see.”

“Why didn’t anyone else say something?” Emily asked in a defeated tone.

“Like I said, they’ve all been under Alison’s little…” Paige used both hands now to gesture vaguely in the shape of a roof. She shrugged and dropped her hand down “…Force field?”

Emily had to laugh at that. “Force field? Really?”

Paige gasped in mock offense “I was going to say prison of lies!”

“No you weren’t” Emily smirked in amusement and used her shoulder to give Paige a firm but playful nudge.

Paige rolled her eyes slightly and gave her head a shake as a soft chuckle rolled from her lips. She looked from Emily to the yard in front of her and just shrugged. Her amusement died and when she spoke it was in all seriousness “You’ve all lived in such Hell for so many years that I don’t think you realize that there is a normal life out there for you all.” She licked her lips and glanced back at Emily almost nervously. She didn’t want to bite her tongue any longer but she also did not want to offend Emily. But, sometimes the truth could be harsh. That did not change the fact that it was true. “I think it’s only now, years after the dust has settled, that everyone is starting to realize the normality of the world. Blindfolds are coming off, so to speak. Guards are being dropped. Eyes are opening.”

“Everyone except mine” Emily grumbled softly.

“Hey you would have gotten there” Paige assured her with a nod. “You’re smart. You know when enough is enough and when to stand your ground. You can’t say you didn’t at least already have an inkling about this.” She motioned upward to indicate where they were sitting then glanced at the girl with a shrug “Or you wouldn’t have come back last night.”

Paige was right. Emily had started to wonder why it was Alison hadn’t made it more of a point to set a wedding date. She was starting to get fed up with the excuse that they were already a family and there was no need to validate it with a piece of paper. She rolled her eyes at the thought and glanced back to Paige “What am I going to do?”

“Now that I can not answer my friend” Paige put her hands on her knees and pushed herself to her feet. She groaned softly and once she was completely upright she bent and straightened her leg slowly with a wince. “Old bones” She smiled when Emily looked concerned “They can fix you when you’re broken but eventually the bones around the metal start to age.”

“Does it hurt a lot?” Emily asked tenderly.

“Not too bad, no” Paige shook her head and put her foot on the ground. “If I’m in the same position for a while it locks up. Other than that it’s usually fine.”

Emily nodded and her eyes dropped to Paige’s leg. She still couldn’t believe Paige’s swimming career had been robbed from her. She chewed her lip for a moment then looked back up at Paige “Can I see it?”

“My scar?” Paige perked an eyebrow in surprise at the question.

Emily nodded just once.

Paige chuckled lightly and reached for the leg of the capris she was wearing. She pulled until her knee came into view then stepped a little closer so Emily could see it.

“Ouch” Emily’s mouth opened in utter horror as she stared at the scarring on Paige’s knee. “Oh my god, Paige. That looks terrible.”

“It was terrible” Paige snorted and dropped the leg of the capris. “It ruined my life. At least, it ruined the life I thought I was going to lead.” She reached down and rubbed at her kneecap in thought for a moment then straightened up and shrugged “If it taught me anything it’s that your life can start over at any time. You just have to bite your lip and push through it.” She offered Emily a soft smile as her hand moved now in a gesture of helping her stand “The first few steps are the hardest but they are the most important.”

Emily nodded as she took Paige’s hand. She knew Paige wasn’t talking about her knee any more. She was talking about her situation with Alison. As she pulled herself up with the help of Paige’s hand she was still clueless as to what she was going to do about it but she knew Paige was right. She had to take a first step. “Thanks” She said once she was upright. She glanced down and bit her lip when she realized that her hand still lingered in Paige’s.

“It’s what I do” Paige answered softly. She followed Emily’s eyes down and when she noticed their hands had yet to part, she quickly yanked hers away and stuffed it into her pocket. She licked her lips and looked back at Emily for a split second before motioning to her front door “I should go check on my dad. But, good luck tonight.” She side stepped up the one stair that led from the sidewalk to her porch. She kept her eyes on Emily as she moved and once she reached the screen door, she offered her a nod “I am rooting for you.”

Emily’s hand burned at how quickly Paige had ripped hers away. She frowned and stared at it a moment longer before turning it into a fist and dropping it to her side. She looked up at Paige when she spoke and gave a sort of wave of dismissal. She couldn’t believe that Paige had torn her hand away like that. That was definitely something she had never experienced with Paige. Throughout everything in her life Paige had always treated Emily with nothing but tenderness. Even when they had tried to be just friends there had been a softness with Paige where Emily had been concerned. This new version of Paige was cold. She had moments of warmth but she was definitely more icy than anything.

She turned away now that Paige had disappeared inside. She made her way to her bike and the only thing she knew for sure was that she didn’t know anything for sure. How was she going to fake her way through this conversation with Ali? What about the kids? Why was Paige so eager to point out how awful Ali was then turn around and be so distant when Emily was reaching out for comfort? She shook the thoughts away as she climbed onto her bike. Her world was a big mess of unanswered questions and she had no idea where she was going to start when it came to finding a resolution.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Emily” Alison barked after saying the woman’s name four times across the fire they were sitting around outside .

“What?” Emily blinked, snapping out of her thoughts to look at Alison sharply.

“Where are you?” Alison huffed out in exasperation.

“I had a long day” Emily shrugged as she lifted the wine she held up to her mouth for a drink.

“You have a long day every day” Alison quipped with a half shake of her head. “Yet you somehow manage to string together a few sentences on those days.”

“Oh my god, Ali” Emily breathed out in frustration. She put a hand to her face and pressed her fingertips into the space between her ear and her hairline. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“You could start by telling me what has you so distracted?” Alison suggested as she shifted in the padded patio furniture they had so she was a little closer to Emily. 

Emily just swatted at the air a few times as if batting away Alison’s question. She drew in a deep breath then slowly let it out before focusing her eyes on the fire in front of her. She didn’t speak right away. She wanted to consider every possible way she could talk to Alison right now that wouldn’t start a bickering match. 

“And there you go again” Alison snarled, pulling Emily out of her thought process.

“I don’t want to set a date” Emily snapped back before she realized she was doing it. Once the words had tumbled out and reached her ears her eyes went wide in surprise.

“Wh-what?” Alison stammered, clearly surprised.

“I think” Emily started calmly, trying to compose herself and make up some sort of reasoning for her statement right then and there “…that you wanting to suddenly set a date has something to do with the fact that you think something happened between Paige and I the other night.”

Alison looked stunned. This might have been the first time in her entire life that Emily had gathered enough courage to call her out. She stared in disbelief for just a moment before letting out a short breath that sounded almost like a laugh “Excuse me?”

“Am I wrong?” Emily gave a shrug with her hand and held it there as if waiting for Alison to put the answer right in her palm.

“You’re delusional is what you are” Alison scoffed out.

“Then why haven’t you wanted to set a date before now?” Emily inquired firmly.

“For all the many reasons I told you the hundred times you asked before. We’re both busy, the girls were too young to remember being a part of the wedding, we didn’t need a paper to prove our love. Shall I continue?”

“So why now?” Emily retorted Alison’s argued statements.

“Because” Alison started calmly. A little too calmly for someone who seemed upset about the accusations being made. Her eyes narrowed and she stared at Emily as if willing her to back down. When that didn’t seem to be happening she lightened her features and shrugged “I was going to wait to surprise you but I am being given a promotion which means less grunt work and more free time. I can work from home most days which means we would have time for a wedding, a honeymoon, and most importantly to be together more as a family. But apparently the timing of this is a little too suspicious for you.”

“It’s convenient” Emily mumbled over the rim of her wine glass.

“What was that?” Alison straightened up a little more and cocked her head to the side almost challenging Emily to repeat it.

“It is convenient” Emily repeated with more force this time. “In fact, it’s always convenient for you. How you always seem to have a great epiphany and give into what I have wanted when the time is right for you. How lucky am I to be given everything I’ve ever wanted from you but only when you got something out of it too. Weird.”

“I don’t like what you are insinuating here, Emily” Alison put her wine glass down now and stood up. She stared down at the other woman and gave her head one shake “It’s funny, isn’t it? How one so called coincidental run in with Paige has your mind all messed up again. Here I thought you were telling the truth when you said you were over her.”

“I am!” Emily gasped in offense at the accusation. “This has nothing to do with her. I have been living my life just fine without her thus far.”

“Yet here you are” Alison used her hand to calmly gesture to Emily and the situation unfolding “Accusing me of horrendous things just one day after seeing her?” She tilted her head to the side as if in thought “Makes me start to second guess whether or not I trust you.”

“Trust me!?” Emily nearly shouted now. She stood up to draw herself even with Alison. She would not be talked down to any longer. “The one who stood by your side through it all? The only one who ever believed you were still alive? The first one to rush to your aid and offer to help despite the fact that I was upset that you had been lying about being dead? You are now suddenly unsure if you can trust me!?”

“Calm down, Emily” Alison demanded.

“You calm down” Emily snarled at her. “You have got to be kidding me with this whole trust thing. I’ve never done a damn thing that wasn’t for you or wasn’t because I believed when you said it was for the best. I have been your damn puppet for far too long, going where you pulled my strings, and doing so under the guise that you actually cared when in fact you just needed someone to take the blame if things went south.”

“You better think really hard about the next few words out of your mouth, Emily.” Alison warned with a hiss in her tone.

“You’ve been using me” Emily continued without even a beat of hesitation. “You still, to this day, only care about yourself. It’s all Ali, all the time and if you’re not with the program you’re cut.” Emily slammed down her wine glass causing it to break and roll off the small table they had near the fire. “Well it’s time to cut me loose Alison because I am done. Done being your pawn. Done being your bargaining chip. Done being your God damn trophy.” With the last of her words, Emily stormed off into the house. She was seething with rage and it was coursing through her with such force that she felt unstoppable. She had to act now or she would back down. So she moved right into her room and started to pack a bag of clothing and other things.

Alison just stood there in front of the fire with her arms folded looking less than shocked. She had always known that if Paige ever rolled back into town that it would most definitely cause an issue between them. She was a little impressed with how quickly Paige had managed to do her work, though. She had to admit it was an admirable move from Paige, going right for the glory with no holds barred. She would have to stop by and give her congratulations on landing the first blow before reminding her that the fight had just begun.

Emily came out of the house a few moments later with a duffle bag full of stuff. She marched over to Ali and tossed it right at her feet. She drew in a breath, her chest heaving a bit from the energy she had just exerted while packing the bag, then nodded down to it “You need to stay somewhere else tonight while I clear my head.”

“You’re kicking me out?” Alison seemed impressed.

“For the night” Emily nodded then used a hand to push her frazzled hair off her face. “Or maybe longer” She added but the words weren’t as sharp as before. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided. All I know is I don’t want to look at you tonight.”

“And the girls?” Alison asked calmly as she leaned down to scoop the bag off the floor.

“I’ll tell them you went to work early” Emily breathed out with a nod. “After that I will just take it one day at a time.”

Alison eyed Emily carefully. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned Emily’s body language as if she were analyzing if she was serious or not. Once she decided that Emily seemed to be for real, her face softened and she gave a nod. “I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t” Emily held up her hand to stop her. She rolled her eyes in disgust then motioned for her to move. 

“I love you” Alison added, sounding a little more sincere now than her previous statement.

“Stop” Emily let out a heavy sigh and her tough demeanor melted a little. For what it was worth, this wasn’t that easy on her. It wasn’t like realizing her entire life had been a sham didn’t affect her. At this point she was just trying to hold it together.

Seeing that Emily had slumped just a bit in her posture, Alison took that as a win. She slung the bag over her shoulder then stepped around the fire “I will be with my family if you change your mind or need me at all.”

Emily wanted to ask which one since it seemed like Alison was related to everyone in town but she stopped herself. She figured Alison meant she would be crashing in the Hasting’s barn. She folded her arms and turned to watch Ali leave. She watched until the darkness consumed the girl and she disappeared. As soon as she was gone, Emily closed her eyes and pulled in a shaky breath. She couldn’t believe she had just done that.

After taking a moment to compose herself, Emily’s eyes opened. She looked around the now empty backyard and suddenly felt small. She had no idea what the next step was. Just as that thought passed through her, so did I yawn. Maybe she should get some rest. Problems, as they say, always seemed smaller in the morning.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Whhaaattt did you do?” Hanna stammered out as she rushed into Emily’s kitchen without knocking and straight over to where Emily stood at the stove.

“Good morning, Hanna” Emily mumbled before using her spatula to motion to the table where the girls were sitting.

“Good morning” Hanna whistled as she turned around. She smiled at the girls who were looking at her and nodded “How are my two favorite twinsies today?”

The girls giggled at that and gave Hanna a little wave. 

Hanna waved back then turned around to look at Emily again. Her eyes were wide and she mouthed the words “What did you do?”

“Girls how would you feel about hanging out with Aunt Hanna all day?” Emily cocked her head to the side, giving a look that told her friend they would talk later.

A round of “Yay!” rose from the table and one of the girls clapped.

Emily smiled then looked back to what she was doing “If you hurry up and go get dressed we can go hang out with Hanna after breakfast. But you better make it fast!”

The girls scrambled to their feet and toward the stairs that led to their bedrooms.

“AND YOU BETTER- Oh who am I kidding they won’t hear me anyway” Emily rolled her eyes in amusement then motioned for Hanna to sit down at the table.

“Ali called me this morning totally freaking out” Hanna said softly even though the girls were out of earshot now.

“Mhm” Emily hummed. She had the tip of her tongue stuck out and pressed against her top lip as she concentrated on working the food in the pan.

“She said you called off the wedding and threw her out last night?” Hanna shrugged, sounding completely confused.

“What a drama queen” Emily huffed out. She turned now and started to spread the food out onto the plates that she had set on the counter. Once she had divided it evenly, she picked the plates up and moved them over to the table. She set them out in front of each of the girls’ special spots then moved to the fridge to get the juice to refill the cups the girls had been drinking from.

“So you didn’t call off the wedding?” Hanna arched an eyebrow slightly.

“Can you really call something off that doesn’t exist?” Emily asked with a bored shrug as she poured juice into the cups.

“I guess not” Hanna relented with a shrug. “But does this mean you don’t want to get married anymore?”

“I don’t know what I want now, Han” Emily gave in as a pout took over her lips and she sat at the last open chair around the table. “I want her to own up to her shit, I guess?”

“What shit?” Hanna asked, completely concerned for her friend at the moment.

“Her….” Emily puffed out air as she tried to pinpoint the best way to describe it. She thought for a moment then flicked her hand to the side as she gave up trying to be eloquent. “Everything. Using me, manipulating all of us for years to get what she wants.” She sighed and lifted a hand to her chin, holding her head up as she looked at Hanna “I am not even sure she actually loves me. She just loves the idea that I’m trapped now.”

“Trapped?” Hanna’s brows rose together in speculation on her forehead. “Really? That’s how you feel?”

“Don’t get me wrong I love the girls. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But you know Ali had a choice” Emily shrugged as her teeth chewed her bottom lip lightly. She knew it sounded awful but there was no other way around it. “She could have taken care of this when she found out the girls weren’t her dead husband’s. She never had to tell me they were mine and look at me like I held all the answers.”

“She didn’t want to lie to you” Hanna said gently.

“But did she have to tell me?” Emily retorted with a shrug. “I mean did she really? We weren’t together. We had never been together, not in a real couple type of way. Why did she think I would suddenly want to be with her and have her babies if she told me they were mine?”

“Because…” Hanna motioned to the two tiny plates of food and nodded “That is exactly what you did.”

“Because I felt like I had to” Emily breathed out in frustration. She got up from the table and moved to stand near the kitchen door. She turned her head so she could listen for the girls to return before she glanced at Hanna “I just feel like even though this was presented as a choice, I never really had a choice. As soon as she told me the babies were mine she knew I would feel a sense of obligation to do the right thing.” She looked down at the tie of her robe that she was playing with and shook her head “She knew all too well the power of the maternal instinct.”

“Where is this coming from?” Hanna stood now too and moved to her friend. She put a hand on Emily’s shoulder and waited for the girl to look back up at her before perking an eyebrow in questioning “Is it because of what Paige said?”

Emily rolled her eyes and let out a huff. Just then the girls came storming back down the stairs and into the kitchen. They took their places at their spots and started to eat. Emily smiled and moved quickly to scoop up the pitcher of juice she had left on the table so it wouldn’t get spilled “Chew, please. Hanna isn’t going to leave without you.”

“Of course not!” Hanna’s eyes went wide with fake excitement and she moved to greet each girl with a kiss to the top of their heads. Once the girls giggled their acknowledgments, Hanna moved over to where Emily now stood washing the pan “Why did you let Paige get to you?”

“Because she’s right, Han” Emily said softly but firmly. Her eyes flickered to the twins to make sure they hadn’t heard before looking back at Hanna. “I’ve never had a choice as far as Alison is concerned. It was her way or the highway. You got on the Ali express and enjoyed the ride or you missed out completely.”

“I get it” Hanna held up a hand to stop Emily from making another analogy. She folded her arms across her chest and shrugged “If it’s bothered you so badly why did it take you so long to speak up?”

“Because I didn’t realize it until Paige said something” Emily admitted. She glanced back at the girls and when one of them called out that she was done. She let out a soft laugh because there was still a lot of food left but she knew her girls were too excited to eat. So she gave a nod and pointed out of the kitchen “Go brush your teeth.”

Hanna watched the girls both run off, even though only one of them had been excused. She laughed softly and turned back around to look at her friend “How do you see stuff like that and ever question if you made the right call?”

“It’s not about the right call versus the wrong call, Han” Emily moved over to the table now and scooped up the plates. She moved back to the sink and let out heavy sigh “It’s about taking back control of my life. I’m done being told what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. I am done letting my opinion be overturned because it’s not what Ali had in mind.” She dropped the plates in the sink, glad they were plastic so they didn’t break, before turning and looking at Hanna firmly “I’m done.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

There was a sudden pounding at the front door that pulled Paige out of the pages of the book she was reading. She stood up quickly and glanced toward the back porch where her dad was sitting. When he didn’t seem to have noticed the disruption she let out a relieved sigh and moved toward the front door.

“I am completely positive you are not meaning to be this loud at the home of a man who has had a stroke!” Paige growled at whoever was on the other side of the door as she ripped it open. She immediately straightened up in surprise when her eyes fell to the source of the knocks. It took her just a beat but her surprise was replaced with annoyance and she folded her arms “What are you doing here?”

“What did you do?” Alison asked accusingly with her hands planted firmly on her hips.

“I didn’t do anything” Paige lifted both hands as if showing Alison that she had not been involved.

“You did something” Alison corrected, lifting a finger now as if making a point. “Because two nights ago Emily was drunk at your door and last night she was kicking me out. What did you do?”

“Oh good” Paige said with a nod. She was still standing behind the screen door. Not for protection but as a silent stand that she would not be drawn into Ali’s game. “She finally wised up.”

“I swear to-” Alison lunged forward and realized the screen door was between them. She clenched her jaw and pointed more fiercely at Paige. “You did something. You strolled into town and you preyed on Emily. I don’t know how you found a crack but you did and you blew it wide open.”

“You see that’s where you and I differ, Alison” Paige put her hands on her hips now, standing tall as she spoke. “I have never preyed on Emily. I have never tried to exploit her in any way to get what I wanted out of her. I have done nothing but love and support her even if that meant supporting her while she did something that was not favorable for me.”

“That’s bull” Alison crossed her arms now, glaring up at Paige.

“No it’s not” Paige laughed out softly. She pushed the screen door open now and stepped outside completely. She stood tall, letting Alison know that she was not afraid of her. “You’re just pissed she finally realized the long game you’ve been playing.”

“And what might that be?” Alison asked calmly, devoid of any real reaction to Paige’s words.

“Oh you know” Paige lowered her voice a little. “Using Emily to get what you want. Keeping her at arm’s length until it was in your best interest to pull her closer.” She bared her teeth now and spoke through her clenched jaw “Suddenly backing out of the abortion when you realized you could use the babies to get Emily on your side once and for all.”

“I don’t like your tone” Alison snarled, lifting her finger and putting it right into Paige’s face.

“You better put your finger away” Paige cocked her head slightly to the side almost like she was daring Alison to make the first move in a fight.

“Or what?” Alison moved her finger closer to Paige’s face but did not touch her. “What are you going to do? Punch me out? You really think Emily is going to swoon over you assaulting her fiance?”

Paige laughed out with a ‘pfft’ sound leaving her lips. When she did so little drops of spit hit Alison’s face. She straightened up and gave her head a single shake “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? A reason to keep Emily clinging to you when you know you’re losing her. Too bad for you I’ve gotten a lot wiser to your games over the years, Ali.”

“If you’re so smart then why is Emily with me and you’re all alone and pathetic?” A wicked little smirk curled onto Ali’s lips as she landed that blow.

Paige rolled her eyes at that. It was obvious that Alison’s words did not hurt like they used to. She motioned with a flick of her chin toward the sidewalk “I think you should go.”

“You need to stay away from my fiance” Alison hissed.

“She came to me” Paige lifted her hands once more showing her innocence. “Twice.” She paused and thought about it then smirked “Thrice, actually.”

Alison just fixed Paige with a deadly glare. She took a step down off the porch then motioned to the house behind Paige “I hope your father’s feeling alright.”

“He is of no concern to you” Paige growled, ready to pounce Alison right then and there but knowing it would do no good.

Alison smirked at that. She just loved getting under Paige’s skin. She loved it more than she would ever be able to say. She took a few more steps backwards then turned to leave, her hair swooping around like a cape as she did so.

Paige’s lip curled in disgust. Her fists were clenched and she could hear how hard her heart was beating in her chest. No one had ever gotten her blood boiling the way that Alison had. After all these years it was safe to say she still had absolutely no intention of ever playing nice with the girl who somehow still continued to make her life a living Hell. Most of all she hated that she had once more been sucked into the drama she had hoped she had left behind when she moved away from Rosewood five years ago.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Emily approached her house after the sun had already gone down. She had spent the day working and trying to figure out what her next step would be. She was exhausted and glad that the girls were with Hanna that night so she did not have to deal with the noise. She loved her kids, she really did, but when things were stressful it was nice to have a little bit of quiet alone time.

As she stepped up onto her porch she jumped in fright as a dark figure caught her eye. She grasped at her chest and stared at the figure for a moment while her heart calmed back down. She focused a little better on the form and straightened up in surprise “Ali?”

Alison had been sitting on their front porch swing waiting for Emily. When she heard her name, she quickly looked up. Her eyes went wide and she sniffled, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying, and wiped her nose “Please don’t tell me I can’t stay here tonight.”

Emily let out a soft sigh and slowly started to step toward Alison “I told you I hadn’t made up my mind.”

“Please” Alison begged a little more desperately this time. She drew in a breath to steady the trembling from the tears and looked up at Emily. That was when the dull moonlight that illuminated the porch caught Alison’s face just right and showed the discoloration around her eye.

“Oh my god” Emily rushed over to Alison and knelt in front of her. She held a hand to her face and tried to get a better look “What happened to you?”

Alison wiped a tear from the eye that was not black and swollen and gave her head a little bit of a shake “Does it really matter?”

“Of course it does!” Emily looked at the eye carefully. When she saw that it was a pretty bad bruise she got to her feet. “Come on, let’s go inside.” She quickly gathered Alison into her arms and helped her to stand from the porch swing. The two of them moved together toward the door and after unlocking it Emily led them inside.

Alison stayed close to Emily, pressing tightly to her as they walked. She felt weak. She was so happy to have Emily’s arms around her. She didn’t say anything. She just let Emily lead her to where she wanted her to be.

“Sit” Emily said softly, helping to guide Alison onto one of the kitchen chairs. She knelt again and now with the light on above she could get a real good look at Alison’s face. Her eye was swollen shut and so purple it was nearly black. She sucked some breath between her teeth and shook her head “What in the world happened? You look like you got in a bar fight.”

“I’m not a fighter, you know this” Alison whispered weakly. Her eyes shifted to look at Emily and she winced in pain. She lifted a finger to touch at the swollen skin around her eye.

“Don’t touch it” Emily hissed softly as she stood from the floor now. She moved over to the freezer and dug out what she could find. Luckily one of the teething rings they had used when the girls had been babies was tucked in the back. She figured it was the perfect shape. She smiled and wrapped it in a towel before bringing it back and offering it down to Alison.

“Thanks” Alison whispered again. She took the makeshift ice pack and put it to her face. She once more winced at the contact against her swollen skin but that didn’t keep her from holding it there anyway. She glanced back at Emily and shook her head “I am so sorry. I know you needed space and time to think. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go. No where else that wouldn’t ask way too many questions, at least.”

“This is your home. You should feel safe here” Emily moved to sit now on one of the chairs. She slid it so she was in front of Alison. Her hands reached out and she gently placed them against Alison’s knees. She leaned in close and tried to look at the damage even though Alison had the ice pressed to her face. She shook her head then sat upright, keeping her hands on the other woman’s knees “Are you going to tell me who did this to you? Obviously you didn’t punch yourself in the eye and don’t you dare lie to me and say it was an accident.”

Alison closed her eyes, which made her wince. She drew in a few long, deep breaths as if she was trying to prepare herself to say what she needed to say. It took a few moments but on the fourth breath out her eyes came open again slowly. She licked her lips and spoke softly “I want you to know I didn’t fight back, okay? I don’t believe in violence and I never have.”

“I know you don’t” Emily assured her with a soft pat to the top of one of her knees. “Now who hit you?”

Alison swallowed hard in her throat as if she was choking on the name. She cleared her throat a few times and when it still came up dry she lifted a hand to point at her neck. 

Emily understood and quickly moved to get Alison some water. She filled a tall glass almost to the top, not sure how much she needed, before returning to the kitchen table. She handed it over gently, as if holding the water might hurt her eye, then sat back down “Take your time.”

Alison nodded in thanks then lifted the glass to her mouth. She drew in a few gulps slowly, letting the water refresh and lubricate her throat. After drinking almost half of the glass she felt like she could speak now. She set it gently on the table then looked back up at Emily. She nodded, clearing her throat once more to be sure before she whispered out hoarsely “Paige hit me.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	3. Here comes the flop

Paige was crouched down in the back garden that lined the railing of the porch that led to her back yard. She was digging up some weeds, another chore her mother had asked her to accomplish while she was away. She was grunting as she attempted to pull out a particularly stubborn root. She had a hold of it and was pulling with all her might. Her face was turning red as she held her breath in attempt to rid the ground of the root.

“Paige McCullers!” Emily’s voice rang out into the air suddenly.

“Huh?” Paige glanced to find where her name was coming from. At that very moment the root gave way. Since Paige’s attention had shifted, so had her balance, and the force that she was using on the root turned into kinetic energy in the opposite direction. She flew backwards hard. All of her weight landed on her ass and the root, and the dirt it had been buried in, went flying into the air.

Paige laid on the grass a little dazed. The landing had nearly knocked the wind out of her. She blinked a few times to try and regain her composure. That was when Emily’s face came into view above her. Her eyes went wide and she looked up at the girl with a kind of bashful smile “You didn’t see me make an ass of myself just now, I hope?”

“You think this is funny?” Emily huffed, her hands on her hips as she glared down at the woman laying in the grass.

“Kind of” Paige said with a laugh that fell flat as soon as she realized Emily looked upset. She sat up quickly and wiped her hands together to try and rid them of the dirt that had accumulated there while gardening “Okay you look upset. What’s wrong?”

“You know what’s wrong. How could you, Paige? I stood up for you when everyone said you were a bad person. I told them that your anger was misplaced but you had figured it out. I can not believe-”

“Woah, woah, take a breath” Paige held her hands up to stop Emily’s rambling. She climbed now to her feet so she was face to face with Emily. She gave her head one shake and let out a quick puff of air “Slow down. What are you talking about?”

“You assaulting Alison!” Emily motioned with both hands out to her sides feverishly. “The huge black eye she came home with last night? Did you really think punching her would win me over?”

“Okay you need to stop” Paige reached out to place her hands calmly on Emily’s shoulders. When the woman pulled back from her she dropped her hands in defeat and nodded “I know you marched over here all ready to beat me black and blue with words but I didn’t punch Alison.”

“That’s not what she said” Emily folded her arms and glared.

“And she’s never lied before in her life” Paige said calmly but with a heavy dripping of sarcasm through her words. “Em, seriously, I didn’t hit her.”

Emily opened her mouth to argue but stopped. She could see the sincerity in Paige’s eyes. She was calm, she wasn’t defensive, and she was speaking with a level tone. Paige had never been good at lying to Emily. She closed her eyes and put a hand to her face “I am such an idiot.”

“No you’re not” Paige whispered very softly. She reached out to put a hand on Emily’s shoulder but hesitated. She chewed her lip for a second then decided to just risk it. She touched gently, trying to offer what comfort she could. “She’s good at what she does, Emily. She knows which angles to work. It’s not your fault. Alison was born to lie.”

Emily let out a long groan that was heavy with agony. She threw her hands up in the air and looked at Paige with desperation in her eyes “I am losing my mind, Paige. I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“Take a breath” Paige said calmly, her hand moving now to lightly rub along Emily’s back. “The important thing is you’re wising up. You’re getting on top of the game here. You have to be one step ahead so she can’t suck you back in.”

Emily puffed out some air which caused the hair that dangled in front of her face to lift slightly. She looked completely frazzled. She pushed the hair back and looked dead into Paige’s eyes “You didn’t hit her?”

“Absolutely not” Paige repeated her claim without even a flicker of hesitation in her voice or her eyes.

Emily nodded. She rolled her eyes and gave a disgusted shake of her head. She ran another hand back through her hair then let the hand drop with a thud to her side. “What am I going to do? She has this huge black eye and I know people are going to be asking what the Hell happened.”

Paige just shrugged. She honestly didn’t have an answer. “I guess that’s for her to decide. I mean no matter what she says people are going to be eating out of the palm of her hand. She’s a story teller, I am sure she is dying for the attention.”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. She smiled at Paige just briefly before another tired sigh left her lips. She glanced around the yard now and saw the gardening tools that were spread about. She pointed and looked back to Paige “Are you gardening?”

“Pulling weeds?” Paige offered, her hand motioning to the bucket filled with the plants she had pulled. 

“I was about to ask when you became such a green thumb” Emily teased with a smirk coming to her lips.

“Yeah, I still kill everything I touch so don’t worry about that” Paige chuckled and looked at the mess she had made as the last weed had relented to her pull. She shrugged then smiled back to Emily “Mom has a list of things she wants me to do while she is gone. I honestly think she just accumulated the list knowing full well she was leaving for a week. She suckered me in!”

“I wouldn’t put it passed her” Emily agreed in a laugh. She glanced around at the tools again then shrugged “Do you mind?” She motioned to the patch of dirt Paige had been working in.

Paige arched an eyebrow slightly in surprise and motioned down as well “Be my guest.”

“Thanks” Emily moved now to gather a pair of gloves from the box that held the gardening tools Paige hadn’t strewn about the yard yet. She then moved to settle onto her knees in the exact place Paige had just been working.

Paige watched for a moment with her hands on her hips. She was amazed at how quickly Emily had been able to pop out a few of the tougher weeds. She made it look easy “Okay not that I’m complaining about the help but don’t you have a job?”

“I am the boss” Emily mumbled without looking up “And thus can take as much time as I’d like when I run errands.”

“Touche” Paige didn’t argue further. Emily had made her point. Paige smiled down at the woman then motioned to the house “I am going to go check on dad. Want something to drink when I come back?”

“That would be nice” Emily smiled up at Paige gently.

The two shared a brief grin before Paige turned to head inside. She wasn’t really sure how she had been sucked into all of this drama so quickly and she most definitely had no idea where it was heading. All she knew for sure was that, when all was said and done, she was glad to have Emily around again. She had missed the ease with which their friendship functioned.

It was a few minutes later when Paige returned to the garden. She moved over to Emily and offered her the glass of water she had for her. She noticed that Emily had finished the patch she had started in and moved to a new one “Wow.” Paige laughed, admiring the work “I should have you come anger garden for me more often.”

Emily let out a sigh of a laugh and reached for the water. She rocked back on her heels and took a moment to sip at the water. She nodded after she swallowed then looked back up at Paige “I just needed something to distract me for a few minutes.”

“Hey, I get it” Paige nodded and motioned to the garden. “Seriously, hang out as long as you’d like.” She took a drink from her own glass then shrugged slightly “Just make sure Ali knows you stayed here on your own accord and that I had nothing to do with it. She is under the impression I am deploying some crazy scheme to win you back.”

Emily rolled her eyes at that. She climbed to her feet and brushed the dirt from her gloves off on the shorts she had worn that day. She took another swig from her water then nodded “I honestly have no idea what I am going to say to her when I see her tonight. Like…” She sighed out tiredly “I know she’s going to accuse me of taking your side and say something like I can’t see that you are trying to get me back or something. I know nothing I say will convince her that I am just seeking the truth.”

“Tell her that” Paige offered gently. “Just ask her why she lied about the eye. Ask her why she’s freaked out that you and I are friends. Ask her why she can’t just own up to what she’s put you through.”

“It sounds easy enough” Emily grumbled and looked into her water glass. “But she will twist it. She always does.”

“At least you can go into it now knowing that’s what she’s doing” Paige shrugged and took another drink. She swallowed the water then looked back to Emily with a soft look in her eyes “Em, you don’t deserve what she’s done to you. Just remember that. Stand up for yourself and, by proxy, your girls. Be strong. I know it’s scary but what’s worse? Living a lie for the rest of your life or finally knowing the life you are living is the one you want.”

“I know” Emily handed her glass of water back to Paige. She pulled off the dirty gardening gloves she had been wearing and tossed them back into the bucket of tools. She looked at Paige and gave a nod “I have to do this not only for me but for my girls. I have to take a stand.”

“And don’t forget it” Paige pointed with the only finger she could unwrap from around the glasses she held. “At the end of the day it is for you. You need to take care of Emily.” She stopped Emily from speaking quickly and nodded “And your two girls of course. But what’s best for them is going to be you being happy. Just remember that.”

“Thanks, Paige” Emily said sincerely. She stepped close to her and offered a hug. When she realized that Paige had her hands full, she laughed and looked her over as she decided what else she could do. She instead decided to just lean in and place a soft kiss against Paige’s cheek. She stepped back and gave an almost shy smile “I have always appreciated you giving me actual advice regardless of your own personal feelings on the matter.”

“That’s who I am” Paige offered with a shrug. She lifted one glass in a cheers type fashion and nodded “Now get out of here before I put you to work again.”

Emily saluted her and gave a soft laugh. Her hand dropped and she gave an actual wave before turning and heading around the side of the house. She paused once she reached the front yard and gave a glance behind her. A warm smile came to her lips. Paige still never ceased to amaze her. She had grown into an absolutely amazing woman and she, for one, was happy to have her on her side still.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Why did you lie?” Emily had been standing just outside the bedroom silently listening to Alison watching tv in bed. She had been building up the nerve to confront her. Once it had boiled up she burst in and blurted out the question before her nerve faded.

Alison cocked her head to the side then lifted the remote to pause what she was watching. She gently placed the remote on the bedside table then looked back to Emily “What do you mean?”

“About Paige punching you” Emily motioned to the black eye that was patched up with an ice pack secured there with a wrap.

Alison, showing absolutely no surprise on her face, spoke blandly “Of course you spoke to Paige.”

“Because I’m an adult” Emily stepped closer to the bed and folded her arms. “Because I go to the source. I am so over gossip and lies and everything I thought we left behind five years ago, Ali. So, yes, I went to Paige and she looked me in the eye and told me she didn’t hit you.”

“And you believe her?” Alison perked the eyebrow over her good eye.

“Of course I do. She is practically incapable of lying to me” Emily huffed and sat on the side of the bed near Ali’s feet. 

“Or she is just really good at it?” Alison offered with a shrug.

“No. You know who is good at lying to me?” Emily motioned to Alison and sighed. “You had me believing that Paige, one of the most genuinely tender people I have ever met in my life, actually hit you. You whipped it up and served it to me so well that I ate it without a second thought.”

Alison just stared at Emily for a moment. She looked at her almost as if she didn’t know how to approach her. This was new. She had never had to deal with Emily not playing right into her hands.

Emily saw the way Alison looked at her and she knew she was studying her. She knew she was looking for her next move. Emily let out a sigh and shook her head “You can’t even own up to it. You can’t even answer a simple question. You’ve been exposed, Alison. You can’t lie your way out of this.”

Alison gave it another few seconds of thought. Then her rigid, expressionless face softened. Her eyes dropped and she started to fiddle with her own hands in her lap “I am so sorry, Emily. The truth is that I’ve never known how to really get your attention.” She drew in a deep breath and looked up at Emily now, letting a tear trickle down her cheek “So I go to the extreme. Sometimes that involves lying.”

Emily folded her arms across her chest. She could see Alison was trying to manipulate her emotions and she wasn’t going to fall for it.

When Emily didn’t seem to be biting on the sappy apology, Alison bit her lip. She stared at the girl she had honestly grown to love over the years and just shrugged. “I can’t imagine a life where you aren’t beside me. I can’t imagine doing something or seeing something and not having you there to share it with me. It terrifies me that you could ever choose not to be around me. So I do the only thing I know how to do.”

“You ever think that just being fucking genuine about your thoughts and feelings might have worked?” Emily barked out with exasperation. “Like if you actually care maybe you should try saying so?” She shook her head and let out a heavy sigh “Emotions are not weakness, Alison. Being vulnerable to how you feel is actually really admirable. It’s what makes us human and it’s what draws people together. Feelings are not an enemy.”

“Not in the house I grew up in” Alison said with a genuine sadness in her voice now. “There was yelling and lying and closing yourself off when something was wrong. My entire childhood was spent trying to get attention from my parents. The only time they ever paid attention to me was when I was dramatic and over the top.”

“You have known me for how long?” Emily’s arms unfolded but she didn’t scoot closer. She had to remember to be careful not to get drawn into her game. “You haven’t figured out that I am a simple girl? I want romantic gestures and cute gifts and things like taking my hand when I least expect it. That is what you can do to keep my attention.”

Alison nodded and looked down at her hands again. She actually kind of looked ashamed for once in her life. She drew in a shaky breath as she fought off real tears. Her eyes lifted and she looked right into Emily’s gaze “I am so sorry.”

Emily gave a single nod. She had never seen Alison this vulnerable in her life “I believe that.”

Alison nodded again. She offered a meek smile as she stared at Emily. “I don’t want to lose you, Emily. I really do love you.”

“I believe that, too” Emily whispered softly. She reached out now to place her hand against Alison’s leg that laid along the bed. She kept her eyes on the other woman’s face and nodded “But saying you’re sorry once doesn’t atone for everything you’ve done.”

“I know” Alison spoke softly. She drew in another deep breath and let it out slowly. A tear moved down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. She licked at her lips and when she spoke again her tone was almost too scared to actually say the words. But she had to ask. “Have I done too much to be forgiven for?”

“I don’t know, Ali” Emily gave a shrug. She scooted closer up the bed now. She reached out and traced her thumb along Alison’s cheek and shook her head “I honestly don’t know. I need to do some thinking. I need some time to figure it out. Most of all I need to know exactly what I want and where I can get that from.” She smiled very softly as her eyes settled on Alison’s good one “More than anything I want to get what I want from you. I hope you know that.”

“I do” Alison nodded quickly. “I’ve always known that.”

Emily gave another single nod. She straightened up where she sat on the bed and pulled her hand away from Ali’s face. “Then while I am thinking about what I really want I would like you to think about why you have treated me the way you have if you have known all along all I wanted was you to make me happy?”

Alison nodded again. She reached out and took Emily’s hand. She gave it a tight squeeze between both of hers and breathed out softly “I promise.”

“Okay” Emily stood from where she was sitting on the bed. She leaned over and gave Alison a kiss on the forehead before pulling back completely. “You stay here. The girls leave for summer camp tomorrow morning. I will be here to see them off. After that I would like to stay in separate houses so we can both do the soul searching we need to do.”

Alison nodded once more. She eyed Emily with a somber look in her eye. “Where will you stay tonight?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight” Emily said with a nod. “So if you need anything let me know.”

“Thank you” Alison whispered. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth to fight off the frown that she felt forming on her lips. 

“Of course” Emily answered with a nod. She moved now to grab some pajamas then took the pillow from her side of the bed. She headed for the hallway but paused to look back at Alison. She gave her a soft smile to let her know she wasn’t exactly mad at her before she left the room. She moved quickly down the stairs to the couch, somehow managing to hold herself together as she went. As soon as she sat down, though, her strength broke. She couldn’t hold it back any longer. She succumbed to the sobs that had been building in her since the moment Alison had said she really did love her. It was the first time in years she had actually felt the truth behind that statement.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Emily drew in a deep breath as she looked up at the McCullers house. She had a bag full of clothing in one hand and her toiletry bag in the other. It felt surreal, honestly, what she was about to do. She had no idea why but this house was the only one she felt comfortable enough to stay in. Everyone else would ask too many questions. Everyone else would judge her. No one else really understood what she was going through. Epiphanies would be hard to explain. But Paige knew.

Finally gathering the strength to move, Emily walked up to the front door of the house. She set down her bag of clothes in order to lift her hand and knock lightly at the door. It wasn’t too late but she wasn’t sure how early Mr. McCullers went to sleep nowadays and she wanted to be respectful.

Paige pulled the door open and when she was greeted with a vulnerable looking Emily Fields, she smiled. “You know, at this rate, I should just expect it to be you every time I hear a knock.”

Emily laughed very softly at that. She was glad her presence didn’t seem to be a bother to Paige any longer. “Do you hear a lot of knocking? You should probably get that checked.”

Paige laughed too. Then her eyes moved down just enough to see the bag Emily held in her hand. Then the one sitting at her feet. She looked up curiously at the woman and smirked “Are you moving in?” She teased.

Emily bit her lip. She knew Paige was just kidding but that was actually kind of exactly what she was hoping to do. “So this might be weird but I told Alison I wanted to stay in separate houses while the girls were away at summer camp. I know you are already way too involved and the last thing you probably want is me hanging out but I didn’t feel like I could go anywhere else.”

Paige lifted a hand for Emily to stop talking. She offered her a soft smile and pushed the screen door open. She stepped outside and scooped up the bag that had been sitting at Emily’s feet before motioning with her head for the girl to follow her inside. She was quiet as she moved through the house with Emily’s bag.

“I wouldn’t ask you but no one else really knows what-”

“I get it” Paige paused in her path through the house to stop Emily again. She nodded just once then started her journey again. She did not lead Emily upstairs, though. She instead led her out onto the back porch and toward the pool house. She pushed open the door and reached for the light switch. The small room was easily illuminated and that’s when Paige turned to look at her friend “I totally get why you came here. But the last thing I think you want is people talking about how you are shacking up with your ex while you figure out what to do about your fiance.” She laughed softly and set Emily’s bag near the guest bed that her mom had put out there when she had remodeled a few years prior. “So you are welcome to stay in the pool house as long as you need.”

“Thank you” Emily whispered softly. She was not at all offended by the fact that Paige had not suggested she stay in the house. This was actually perfect. She had her own space. It was quiet. There was a pool just outside her window. If she needed, Paige was there to talk to. She looked around the small room and smiled softly “This is really cute.”

Paige laughed and looked around with a nod “Yeah. Mom started watching a lot of home renovation shows and decided to turn it into an extra room. I honestly think she just wanted a place for my girlfriends to sleep when I came to visit.”

Emily perked an eyebrow at that and couldn’t help but smirk “Girlfriends? Does that mean you have brought many girls here to meet the parents or that you had more than one at the same time and they had to rotate sleeping in your room?”

Paige let out a soft chuckle at that and shook her head “It was actually a joke but thank you” She puffed up and looked playfully proud “Thank you for thinking I could wrangle many, many girls.”

Emily rolled her eyes and giggled softly “Oh please. You turn on that McCullers charm and girls don’t stand a chance.”

Paige actually blushed. Her chin dipped and she looked at her feet as a hand came to rub at the back of her head. Her hair was still just about chin length like it had been the last time she had seen Emily. She liked it that length, she felt it suited her. She glanced up after she composed herself and held a half smile on her lips “Emily Fields still knows how to make me blush. Who would have guessed?”

Emily bit her lip slightly. She had missed this. She had missed how adorable Paige looked when she was flustered. She had missed how completely humble Paige always was. Alison never took compliments as if they were a good thing. She took them as if they were facts that everyone should know about her. She was never humbled by them.

“Anyway” Paige clapped just once to break the awkwardness that had settled over the room. “Mom didn’t put in a bathroom but you can use the one downstairs near the kitchen. I will leave the back door open for you.”

“Thank you” Emily said more seriously now that their little moment had passed. “Really, thank you so much. I know the last thing you wanted was to have me hanging around while you’re here trying to take care of your dad.”

“Like I said, I get it” Paige offered a single nod. “For all we’ve been through we have always seemed to silently settle on the fact that we were good for balancing each other out.”

“That is true” Emily drew in a breath and glanced around again. It really was a cute little room. “But I promise I won’t stay too long. I know you are leaving next week.”

“Actually” Paige lifted a hand to interject “I have decided to stay through the Fourth of July holiday.” She gave a shrug to that “Mom says it’s the least I can do since I missed Christmas.”

Emily let out a soft laugh “She’s always known how to drive a hard bargain.”

“That she has” Paige stepped back now and reached for the door. She paused just before stepping outside and looked back at Emily. She gave her a genuinely soft smile and nodded just once “If you need me…”

“I know the way” Emily pointed to the top floor of the house that stood just across the yard. She gave her a nod and a wave as Paige stepped out of the pool house and shut the door behind her. She watched until Paige moved into the house before turning around to look at the bed. She drew in a breath and let it out in slow little puffs as she assessed the situation. This was good. This was great, actually. Away from Ali so she could clear her head. Quiet and secluded. It was good. She smiled at that then went to work digging out the things she needed to get ready for bed.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The next few days had really flown by. With Alison out of her space, Emily had honestly had a lot of time to do some really deep thinking. Between that and work, she had barely even seen Paige. They did all have dinner together every night. Well, Paige and her did. Paige always took a plate of food to her dad after dinner and fed it to him in private. Emily could respect that. She was sure if it had been her own father she would have done the exact same thing.

Mrs. McCullers returned on the fourth day of Emily’s stay. Emily was coming out of the bathroom near the kitchen, having been brushing her teeth for work that day, when she nearly plowed right into the woman. She jumped back in fright only to laugh when she realized who she had run into “I am so sorry, Lara!”

Mrs. McCullers blinked in surprise. She eyed Emily up and down. She noticed her toothbrush and her head cocked to the side in questioning “Well aren’t you a dedicated grocery delivery girl.”

“Oh” Emily looked over herself still in her pajamas and she let out a quick breath as she scrambled to speak “No, no, no, this is not what this looks like! I am in the pool house. Paige said I could stay. I am just-” She pointed out the window as she mumbled, feeling herself getting too flustered. “There’s nothing. Paige and I-”

“Give the girl a break, mom” Paige laughed as she rounded the corner into the kitchen now. She looked at Emily and smiled then started working on a pot of coffee. “Morning, Em.”

“Morn-” Emily started then looked back at Lara who was still staring at her as if trying to identify a strange new creature. Emily licked her lips then let out a sigh “This is not what it looks like.”

“Looks like you were brushing your teeth before coffee” Lara said with a smirk. Her stern glare had faded and she had a bright, mischievous smile now that looked a lot like Paige’s. “Paige filled me in already. I just couldn’t pass up the chance to give you a little crap.”

Emily’s jaw dropped. 

Paige laughed. She turned and stepped over to her mom to kiss her cheek before taking her briefcase “How was your trip?”

Lara just shrugged. She let out a tired sigh then glanced back to Paige “Let me know when coffee is done? I am going to go change.”

Paige gave a nod then went back to where she had been cutting a bagel.

“She nearly killed me” Emily put a hand to her heart with a laugh. “I honestly thought my heart was never going to start pumping again with how long it stopped in my chest.”

Paige smirked as she spread some cream cheese on her bagel “And you wonder where I get my humor from.”

“Yes” Emily said with a laugh. “At least I used to. She was never this funny when we dated.”

“She was still adjusting to the fact that you turned me gay” Paige teased, turning around to face Emily once she finished preparing her bagel. She held out one half of the bagel to her friend and smirked when Emily looked offended “Kidding. She has always liked you. Kind of.”

“Kind of?” Emily took the bagel from Paige without hesitation.

Paige shrugged. She turned around and grabbed out some coffee mugs for the three of them then glanced back to Emily “You broke my heart. A lot” She spoke softly but not in an accusing tone. “Moms tend to be weary of the people that do that to their kids.”

“Fair enough” Emily relented. She knew that her and Paige had never been a complete fairytale story. They were on again and off again so many times they had both lost count. She knew she had hurt Paige. “I’m going to go change” She motioned to her pajamas and gave a weak smile “At least she likes me enough not to kick me out, right?”

“Maybe” Paige gave a bland response. When Emily gasped, Paige rolled her eyes and laughed “She’s fine with it. Says she’s glad someone has finally used the pool house she spent so much money on.”

“Glad to be of service” Emily did a playful bow to Paige now then let out a laugh before heading out the back door.

Paige shook her head in amusement then turned back to the coffee machine. She worked quickly to make up three cups of coffee. There was a reason Paige still remembered how Emily liked her coffee. It was the same way her mom liked it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Another week had passed and Emily couldn’t believe how time was flying. The Fourth of July was in just two days and the McCullers had decided to throw a huge block party for the neighborhood. Emily was actually excited. It gave her an excuse to mingle with all the people she had grown up around. She couldn’t remember the last community thing she had done.

Paige and Emily had fallen into a nightly ritual together. After Emily came home from work and they all ate dinner together, they would settle outside near the pool with some wine. Sometimes they would chat. They would catch up or reminisce about the past. That usually lead to a heated debate about who was actually the better swimmer. Then Emily would challenge Paige to a swim off right then and there but that never happened. They would just go back and forth before one of them decided they were too drunk to swim and they’d go back to talking.

Tonight Emily was laid out completely on one of the longer pool chairs that they had out. Paige was on the end of the same chair with Emily’s feet in her lap. They were both looking through old pictures from all the various teams they had swam on together through the years. 

“Oh my god” Emily let out a soft laugh and turned the photo she held in her hands around to show Paige “Look at your coconut head hair!”

Paige groaned out loudly. She reached for the picture and snatched it from Emily’s hand. When she drew it close enough to see she shook her head “My mom insisted that bangs were all the rage. Back then I had to listen to her.”

“It’s cute” Emily cooed as she fought off a laugh.

“It’s disgusting” Paige tossed the photo back toward Emily. She let out a soft laugh and looked back to the pictures in her hands “That seems like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it? High school, I mean.”

Emily gave one slow nod as she looked at the picture Paige had tossed back at her. It was their Sophomore year of high school. It was a year she would always remember. “They always say high school is the best years of your life. I tend to disagree.”

“No shit” Paige mumbled. She flipped one of the pictures she held over in her hand to read the back. “You went through Hell.”

“So did you” Emily said with a nod. 

Paige shrugged. She turned the picture back over and smiled “Check it out. Third grade swim club.”

Emily reached out excitedly for the photo. When she took it in her hands she pulled it into her sight line and immediately let out a soft “Awwwwww.”

Paige let out a laugh and reached for her wine.

“Look at your cute little braid” Emily pointed at the picture then looked up at Paige with an exaggerated pout. “Adorable.”

“You are such a mom now” Paige laughed and took the picture back. “Look at you” She pointed to little Emily in the back row. She was always the tallest on the team. “Your little shit eating grin. Even at age eight you knew you were good.”

Emily rolled her eyes but laughed “I was having fun, Paige. Do you not remember what that’s like?”

“At age eight?” Paige shook her head and looked at the picture. “I was trying to figure out how to tie my damn shoes. I didn’t need to be learning the butterfly.”

Emily shrugged a little bit at that. She eyed Paige for a moment and let out a soft sigh “But aren’t you glad your mom signed you up for swimming?”

“Of course” Paige said with a nod. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have liked a choice.”

Emily frowned at that. She remembered for a moment that all of this had started because Alison hadn’t really given her a choice. It was the reason she was sitting outside with Paige instead of at home with Alison. She cleared her throat and spoke seriously all of the sudden “Remember your first day in town when you asked me if I had ever thought about what could have been?”

Paige, a little surprised by the sudden change in subject, gave a single nod “Of course.”

Emily licked her lips. She was quiet for a moment before she lifted her eyes to look at Paige now “All the time.”

Paige didn’t seem too shocked by that. She offered a little shrug of her shoulder and another nod “That doesn’t make you a bad person, Em. Just means you’re human.”

“Do you?” Emily asked softly. “I mean think about what could have been?”

“Absolutely” Paige answered without pause. “I used to think about it a lot when it first happened, you know? But as time passed the thoughts faded. Every now and then it pops up but honestly..” She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before smiling “I know I wouldn’t be where I am now had things in my life not unfolded the way they had.”

Emily nodded at that. She looked down at the photo of them in third grade and smiled. What would have happened had she not watched the Olympics that year and fallen absolutely in love with the excitement of watching the swimmers?

“Oh look” Paige broke the silence. She was all too happy to move on from that heavy subject. “Sixth grade, I think?” She showed Emily with a grin. “We were twelve.”

Emily let out a laugh and reached for the picture. She turned it over and there was no writing on it at all. No year was printed. It was blank. “How do you know how old we were?”

Paige opened her mouth to answer but stopped. She bit her lip as she thought it over carefully. She was on a new path of not holding back with Emily so she wanted to be honest. She just had to think about how to phrase it. “The suits” She finally answered, motioning to the picture “The horrible shade of pink that kind of made all of us look naked when we wore them.” She laughed softly at that “Everyone but you and your gorgeous darker skin tone.”

Emily perked an eyebrow at that. She licked her lips again and curiously asked “Gorgeous?”

Paige rolled her eyes to hide the fact that she might have blushed a little “Oh please, anyone with eyes could see you had beautiful skin. I remember not being able to-” She stopped herself quickly. She cleared her throat and put her wine down. She decided she had definitely had enough.

“Not being able to what?” Emily perked up a bit. She had a feeling that Paige was hiding something. They had never really delved into their childhoods. They had known each other for so long it didn’t seem like something they needed to talk about.

Paige rolled her eyes again. She took the picture back from Emily and looked down at it. Just seeing it made her heart flutter. She let out a sigh and shrugged in defeat “I remember not being able to take my eyes off of you every time we were at practice. You were probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and that was really confusing.” She let out a laugh but it was more to hide the tremble in her voice than anything.

Emily put a hand to her heart. She shook her head in a bit of disbelief “You were so mean to me that year.”

“Yeah well” Paige looked up at Emily and spoke matter-of-factly now “When you realize there’s another girl giving you funny feelings you kind of have to compensate for it somehow.”

Emily frowned now. She sat up on the chair and moved her feet off of Paige’s lap so she could scoot down closer to where she was sitting. She reached out and rubbed at her back lightly “Hey, you know I forgive you for all of that, right? Coming to terms with your sexuality isn’t easy for everyone.”

“I know” Paige nodded quickly. She kept her eyes on the picture. Her gut was twisting into knots. She breathed out slowly and finally brought her eyes up to look at Emily. “I knew at the age of twelve that I was in love with you. How crazy does that sound?”

Emily felt her own heart leap into her throat. It jumped so high she almost choked on it. She had to swallow it back down before she dare speak. She had definitely had no idea that Paige had felt that way back then. She licked her lips and whispered softly “I wish you would have talked to me instead of been awful to me. Maybe we both could have figured this out way before high school.”

“Maybe” Paige offered another shrug. She looked down at the picture once more. Her mouth felt dry. She felt her hand tremble where she held onto it. She had not expected to be taken over with such strong emotions. 

“Hey” Emily whispered, leaning in a little closer to Paige. She reached out to slide her fingers under her chin and pull them until she could bring Paige’s eyes up to her own. She offered her a smile and nodded just once “I am sure if we had talked back then I would have definitely had a crush on you too.”

Paige let out a soft laugh at that “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

“I’m serious” Emily said with a firm nod. “You have this thing about you that I just can’t deny…” She licked her lips and without her even thinking about the fact that she had a fiance, she leaned into Paige. Her eyes closed and her lips puckered slowly, as if kissing Paige at that moment was the only thing in the world that made sense.

Paige’s eyes went wide and somehow, even with a bum knee, she managed to pull out of the way and jump to her feet. She stared down at Emily in complete surprise. Emily looked up at her completely wounded. With panic in her voice Paige blurted out loudly “I’m married, Emily.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	4. Breaking your poker face

Emily was stunned, to say the least. She felt her entire body go numb. Her ears rang a little bit. She felt like she might have just gone deaf. She stared up at Paige standing above her and blinked a few times to try and focus. She was pretty sure she was on some sort of drug because there was no way she had really just heard what Paige had just said.

Paige’s heart was racing. She was staring down at Emily with concern and also nervousness. She had no idea how her friend would react. So she just stared at her, waiting for her to move. Waiting for her to breathe. Wait, was she breathing? “Emily?”

“You’re wh-what?” Emily finally managed to push out a response. Her eyes blinked a few more times and she was suddenly very focused on Paige. She shook her head a few times, looking absolutely dazed, and she let out a breath of a laugh “Did I just hear you say you’re-”

“Married” Paige cut in with a nod of her head. “Yes that is what I said. I am married, Emily.”

“Since when?” Emily blurted out a little more loudly than she had intended. She was in shock. She bit her lip when she realized she had yelled the question and looked up at Paige in apology because she knew her parents were asleep. “When did this happen? And why didn’t you tell me!?”

“Take a breath” Paige held her hands out toward Emily trying to calm her down. She took a step back toward the chair but did not sit yet. “I know you’re probably pretty confused but take a breath. I’ll tell you everything.”

Emily blinked again. She processed what she had just learned and then let out another laugh. She looked up at Paige and smiled “You’re married?”

Paige nodded once more. 

Emily nodded too. She processed for a few more seconds then tilted her head to the side in confusion “Where is your ring?”

Paige looked down at her left hand. She bit her lip and slowly, almost guiltily, stuffed it into the pocket of the shorts she was wearing “So, funny story. I lost my ring about a week before I came here. Since it was my fault I’ve been told I am responsible for replacing it.” She bit her lip and shrugged shyly “This is the third time I’ve lost my ring.”

“Three times?” Emily put a hand to her mouth in surprise. She also used her hand to hide the fact that she was laughing. Everything was coming at her so fast that all she could seem to do was laugh because it was almost too crazy to believe.

“Yeah yeah yeah” Paige rolled her eyes then plopped back down on the chair next to Emily in defeat. “Betts was pretty pissed.”

“Betts?” Emily perked an eyebrow as a smile took over her face. “I’m assuming that’s your wife?”

Paige smiled proudly at that and nodded quickly “Bettiah, actually.”

“Bettiah?” Emily repeated the name. She thought it over then nodded “It’s unique.”

“Her parents are from India” Paige said with a shrug. “Bettiah is actually the city where they met. They said they named her that to make fun of how white people name their kids after cities like Brooklyn or London.” She let out a laugh at that “Said they wanted her to be as American as possible and what was more American than stupid baby names?” She smirked in amusement “Her family are all actually really hilarious.”

Emily bit her lip and put a hand to her heart. As shocked as she was by this news she wasn’t upset at all. She had been for about a minute before Paige started talking about her wife. Now she could see just how much she adored the woman. “Oh my god, Paige. I am so happy for you!”

Paige’s smile held a lot of relief as she looked at Emily “Really?”

“Of course!” Emily looked a little hurt that her friend didn’t believe her. “You know all I have ever wanted was you to be happy.”

Paige’s smile held and she gave a nod “I remember a time or two where you insisted on it.”

“See?” Emily nodded, her face lighting up with another smile. “Although I am kind of mad you didn’t tell me. Or invite me?” She folded her arms and stared at her with a firm glare.

Paige bit her lip, feeling a little bit guilty now. She just shrugged and looked down at her hands “It was kind of just a small thing. No big deal.”

“I’m teasing” Emily said softly. She reached out and lightly put her hand on Paige’s back. She gave a few tender rubs and nodded “Paige, seriously, do not feel bad about this! You have every right to be totally happy without making any apologies to me or anyone else.” She dipped her head a little bit until she found Paige’s eyes. She gave her a genuine smile as she spoke again “You don’t owe me anything. I made my choice.”

Paige smiled at the tenderness that she saw in Emily’s eyes. It wasn’t that she was ashamed or trying to hide her marriage but she had wondered how Emily would react. Not that it would change her mind either way. “To be fair I did warn you that if I walked away it would be for the last time.”

Emily let out a laugh and straightened up, pulling her hand off of Paige now that she didn’t seem upset anymore. “You absolutely did!”

“For what it’s worth I’m glad you know now. It was kind of eating me up inside not telling you but…” Paige shrugged and gave her head a shake “I don’t know, I didn’t feel like it was relevant until it was. I mean I didn’t want to be one of those girls who just assumed you were trying to hook up with me just because we were talking.” When she saw Emily open her mouth to argue she quickly continued “You weren’t. I knew you weren’t. That is why I didn’t say anything. I feel like it might have been a little offensive for me to blurt it out as soon as I saw you.” She let out a soft laugh and shrugged “Besides, I think we have been working at rebuilding the friendship we have and it would have tainted that had I just been like, oh by the way, if you wanna hook up we can’t so I’m not interested in you.” She let out a soft sigh and shook her head “Does that make sense?”

“I get it” Emily said with a laugh. “You’re right, I think I would have been pretty offended that you thought that was the only reason I’d want to talk to you. So I’m glad you waited. Although now…” She motioned to her own lips then pointed to Paige to indicate that she had tried to kiss her and rolled her eyes “…I wish it would have come up before now. I don’t even know why I did that!”

“Hey” Paige whispered as she turned on the chair to face Emily. She took both of her hands gently into her own and shook her head slightly “You are going through something hard. There are layers of emotions. Sometimes all we want is a little bit of an escape. A lot of times that escape comes in forms of temporary relief. It’s normal to want to take whatever it is that has helped with that escape and make more of it.” She gave both of Emily’s hands a squeeze “Besides, you and I have never been good at being just friends and maybe it’s like a reflex to take it passed friendship when we’re reminded of how good we are together.”

Emily nodded quickly. She looked down at her hands and smiled at the feel of Paige holding them. She had always been absolutely gentle with her. No one had handled her as gently and yet made her feel so unbreakable as Paige had. She looked back up and licked at her lips just once “Either way I apologize. Also please never speak of this again.”

Paige let out a laugh and nodded “Deal.” She squeezed Emily’s hands once more then looked at her a little more seriously “You sure you’re alright? I have definitely been the one to lean in for an inappropriate kiss only to be rejected so I know how embarrassing it is.”

“Oh yeah, totally embarrassed” Emily agreed before shrugging “But…” She smirked and took one of her hands away from Paige in order to grab her wine. She took a long drink out of her glass before looking at Paige and giving her a grin “I will survive.”

“I know you will. You are strong” Paige leaned in and gave her friend a soft kiss to the forehead before she finally let go of her hand. She moved now to pick up the pictures that had been scattered about when she had quickly jumped away from Emily’s attempted kiss.

“So” Emily broke the silence that had fallen between them as Paige scooped up the pictures. “You saying all of the things you’ve said about Alison really wasn’t some secret ploy to win me back.”

Paige laughed very softly and glanced up from where she was knelt down with the pictures “You can tell Alison she can rest easy. I have not come to steal you away.”

Emily smiled softly as she watched Paige tap the photo ends on the tile around the pool to help straighten them into a nice pile “So you were finally just saying what you’ve been holding on to for years?”

Paige shrugged and stood now. She groaned as her knee ached. “I know it’s surprising to hear that someone did something out of the genuine care and concern for you Emily but that is honestly what it was. If nothing else came from it I at least wanted you to know how I felt about the entire thing.”

“Why?” Emily asked a little more softly than she had intended.

Paige slid the pictures back into the envelope they had come out of and looked back at Emily. She gave her a single shrug and spoke plainly to her “Because there was nothing in it for me. I will go to my grave caring about you, Emily. Whether you live happily ever after with Alison or not doesn’t really affect me any longer. That does not mean that I don’t still want the best for you. So I thought you should have the facts. Be given options. Have a choice” She picked up the bottle of wine they had brought out to the pool that night and sighed “I am incapable of not wanting to save you, Em. It’s who I am.”

Emily nodded just once. She took a moment to think over the words. Paige had always been so genuinely set on giving Emily everything she could ever want or need to be happy or find happiness. She had gallantly stepped down when Alison had told her the babies were hers. She had made it easier on Emily to do the right thing. She did always have her best intentions in mind. She smiled at the thought and looked back up at her friend “Thank you for that.”

Paige just gave a nonchalant shrug and offered her a soft smile “It’s in the very core of my being. I wouldn’t be me without it.”

“I still appreciate it” Emily stood now and stepped closer to her friend. She could tell Paige wanted to go inside and call it a night. She reached out and slid her arms around Paige tightly, pulling her into a hug. She hoped that Paige could feel her genuine appreciation for everything she had ever done to help Emily. “Thank you for being the only person who has ever been completely honest with me. I know this road hasn’t been easy for you either.”

“But my road got better” Paige whispered. She had slid one arm around her friend when she initiated the hug and she gave her a tight squeeze now in return. She then pulled back and when their eyes met she gave her a serious nod “And yours will now too. I believe it in my heart.”

“Me too” Emily whispered as she pulled back as well. She watched Paige gather the rest of the things that needed to go inside then offered her a smile when she looked back at her. “Have a good night. Sleep well.”

“Same to you, Em” Paige smiled back at her. She let her eyes linger on her friend a moment before she turned and headed across the yard to the house. She felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her chest now that Emily knew she was married. She just hoped now that Emily would still make the best decision for herself. The last thing she wanted her to do was go back to Alison simply because she had no other options. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was the Fourth of July and the McCullers’ house was a buzz with excitement. Lara had gotten up early to start decorating and demanded that the girls help her. They had both agreed to do so gladly and after their first cup of coffee that morning they had all settled into rhythm as they decorated the yard.

Emily glanced down at her phone from where she stood at the bottom of the ladder handing Paige things to hang up and she groaned. “Shoot” She glanced up at her friend and frowned “Hey, I have to head into work for a little bit today. Are you alright here?”

“I’m almost done anyway” Paige waved her off and offered her a smile. “Besides I have mom if I need anything. Go ahead.”

“Thanks” Emily rushed off now across the yard to the pool house to gather a few things she needed for work. On her way back across the yard to where she had parked her bike she stopped. A thought popped into her head and she glanced back to where Paige was dangling some lights along the back porch. She bit her lip almost nervously now and moved back toward her friend “Hey, Paige?”

“Hmmm?” Paige hummed out and glanced at Emily but only for a moment before looking back to what she was doing.

“Is it alright, and you can totally say no…” Emily spoke quickly but softly. “….if I invite Alison to come to the block party you are having tonight?”

Paige smiled and glanced back down to Emily. Without hesitation she gave her a nod “Absolutely. The rest of the neighborhood is invited and she is included in that. Although neither my mother nor myself will put up with any drama.”

“Of course not” Emily put a hand to her heart and shook her head. “I will personally escort her away if she tries anything.”

“Cool” Paige gave a nod then looked back to the lights. “I will see you two tonight then. Have a good day at work!”

“Thanks” Emily said with a genuine smile on her lips. She was still so amazed at how grown up Paige was.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Emily walked into the house she and Ali owned and glanced around. When she didn’t see the woman at first she listened. It seemed to be quiet there. That was curious to her. She put her bag of clothing down near the door and called out now “Ali?”

Alison perked up from where she had been folding laundry near the kitchen and turned her head. It wasn’t until the second call of her name that she was sure she had just heard Emily. She smiled and immediately moved out of the little laundry room, through the kitchen, to where Emily stood near the front door. She felt her heart flutter and she couldn’t hide her smile “Emily.”

“Hey” Emily smiled softly.

“Hey” Alison smiled almost shyly now. She looked over the beautiful woman she had missed so dearly and bit her lip. The time apart had done a lot of good on Ali’s end. She noticed the bag of clothing Emily had packed when she had left two weeks prior and she perked up a bit “Are you coming home?”

“Oh” Emily looked down at the bag. She shrugged and looked back up “I don’t know. Maybe. I actually came by to see what you were doing tonight?”

“No plans” Alison said quickly. Almost eagerly.

“Good” Emily smiled now gently. “I am sure you heard of the holiday block party the McCullers are throwing.”

“Of course” Alison’s smile dropped immediately.

“Well” Emily pushed forward, not letting Alison’s scowl affect her. “Paige said I should bring you tonight.”

“Really?” Alison perked an eyebrow at that. It was obvious she was immediately suspicious of the offer.

“Yes” Emily nodded firmly. “Everyone else is going to be there. Her mom is home now. You should come.” She licked her lips and added softly “I want you to come with me.”

“Really?” Alison softened just a little bit.

“Of course” Emily smiled very slightly. “We haven’t spent a holiday apart in five years. It just wouldn’t feel right without you.” She shrugged almost shyly now “Besides I know how much you like fireworks.”

Alison nodded now. She stepped over to Emily and without hesitating she threw her arms around her and pulled her body close. She held her tightly and let out a shaky sigh. Her head shook before her face turned and she pressed it into Emily’s neck. She drew in a deep breath, taking in the scent of the woman she loved. She let the breath out slowly then pulled back. She smiled when she pulled back enough to find Emily’s eyes and gave her a nod “I have missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too” Emily whispered softly, genuinely. Her hand lifted and she brushed some of Ali’s hair off her cheek. She offered her a soft smile and nodded slightly “This hasn’t been easy on me. I want you to know that.”

“I know” Alison nodded. “It’s been terrible on me. I can’t even imagine what you have been going through. I am so sorry I have put you through this.”

Emily lifted her hand and put it over Alison’s lips. She offered her a smile and shook her head “Later. We can talk about that later. Just say you’ll go to the party with me?”

“Of course” Alison nodded quickly.

“And that you will behave?” Emily perked an eyebrow at that, almost as if challenging her.

Alison gave another nod. She reached down to took a hold of Emily’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze “I will be on my best behavior for you.”

“Thank you” Emily said with a smile.

“But if I think Paige is moving in on you-”

Emily rolled her eyes and put her hand back over Alison’s mouth. She shook her head and looked at her firmly “Paige has nothing against you. So, please, can we be adults for one night?”

Alison drew in a deep breath. She gave one nod and pushed a smile to her face “Of course. You’re right. It won’t kill me to play nice.”

“It might” Emily whispered. When she saw the nearly offended look on Alison’s face, she smirked and let out a laugh “Joking. I’m funny, remember?”

Alison rolled her eyes but relented a smile. “It’s been so long I’ve forgotten.”

“I will remind you all night then. I am bursting with lame jokes!”

“Maybe I won’t go…” Alison grumbled playfully.

Emily gasped. She reached out and gave Alison a soft, playful swat and shook her head “You love my lame jokes.”

Alison gave her a warm laugh. She nodded a few times and sighed “You’re right. I really do.”

“Good” Emily stepped back now. She grabbed her bag of clothes then nodded toward the stairs “I am going to go get ready for the party. Finish up what you’re doing and join me?”

Alison perked an eyebrow in questioning. What exactly was Emily suggesting?

Emily laughed and rolled her eyes “Not that. I’m not there yet. But…” She bit her lip and looked Ali up and down slowly before shrugging “Maybe if you look really hot tonight I will change my mind?”

Alison smirked at that. She gave her head a single nod and arched an eyebrow in challenge to that “I’m gonna knock your socks off then.”

Emily smirked too. She bit her lip and looked Alison over slowly. For everything she was going through and all the time off she had taken she definitely could not deny that she still very much had a thing for Alison after all this time.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Okay, which one is she?” Hanna whispered to Emily from where they stood near the pool. The block party was in full force and the McCullers back yard was full of people.

Emily just shrugged. She looked around at the people and shook her head “I don’t think she’s here. I mean Paige didn’t tell me she was coming so maybe she’s not.”

“Oh” Hanna frowned a little. She took a sip from her cup and looked around. They were quiet again as they stood there taking in everything. After a moment she looked back at her friend “And why didn’t you tell Ali that Paige is married?”

“I am working a theory” Emily offered up a shrug. “If Alison can come here and play nice with Paige while still thinking she is secretly trying to steal me away then maybe there is hope that she is actually putting up an effort to change?”

“And if she knew Paige wasn’t a threat any long she would stop trying to be better to you because she would think you had no other choice now that Paige was off the table?” Hanna chimed in curiously.

Emily nodded and pointed at her friend “Exactly my thinking.”

Hanna thought it over for a moment. She nodded and smiled “That’s actually really smart.”

“Yeah well you don’t deal with what we’ve dealt with for as many years as we have without at least getting a little bit innovative when it comes to getting information” Emily said with a laugh.

“Amen to that” Hanna nodded, using her cup to make a cheers motion toward Emily.

The two girls shared a smile at that. Then Emily’s eyes fell to something across the yard. She quickly went wide eyed and pointed.

Hanna’s eyes followed Emily point until she could find what she was looking at. When she saw what Emily saw her own eyes went wide in disbelief. She gave her head a shake and breathed out a laugh “Holy crap.”

“I didn’t even prompt it” Emily whispered in amazement. She stared across the yard as she watched Alison and Paige engaged in what looked like a calm, friendly conversation.

“I wonder what they are talking about” Hanna whispered as if talking too loud might disturb them.

Emily shook her head just once. She watched silently for another moment before looking at her friend “Let’s go see?”

“No” Hanna shook her head quickly. “If you interrupt they will both play nice because you’re there. I should go up and say hi.”

Emily glanced at Hanna with a straight face “They are going to know you’re my spy.”

“No they won’t” Hanna laughed it off and gave a wave of her hand to the side. “I am such a good slouthe.”

“No you aren’t” Emily argued with a laugh of her own. Before she could stop her, though, Hanna was taking off across the yard to where Paige and Alison stood. All Emily could do now was watch in anticipation.

“Hey you two” Hanna approached with a wide smile. She looked at Paige then nodded “Great party. I have missed your parents’ insane block parties. It’s nice to see them getting back in the spirit.”

“Yeah, thanks” Paige offered Hanna a soft smile. 

“So what are you two talking about?” Hanna glanced between Alison and Paige as nonchalantly as she could.

“I was just saying thanks for the invite” Alison said in a tone that was both bored yet truthful.

“And I was thanking her for coming” Paige added with a nod.

“Cool” Hanna glanced around quickly then looked at Alison “Do you know where Emily is?”

Alison fought a roll of her eyes. She glanced across the yard right to where Hanna had been standing next to Emily and put on a straight faced smile “You literally just walked away from her.”

Hanna turned around and when she saw Emily watching she let out an over exaggerated gasp of surprise “Oh there she is!”

Alison and Paige both kind of laughed. Hanna was so bad at being a spy.

Emily, seeing that Hanna was busted, took in a deep breath and headed across the yard. She smiled when she approached the girls and moved to stand right next to Ali “You having fun?”

“Actually, yes” Alison said with a nod. She looked at Paige and smiled gently “I was just asking Paige about her father.”

“Really?” Emily perked an eyebrow and looked at Paige for confirmation.

“She was suggesting a doctor we should contact in order to try some new arousal therapy for his motor functions” Paige confirmed with a nod.

Emily glanced at Alison with an impressed look on her face.

Alison smiled and gave a single shoulder shrug as if it was no big deal.

“There you are!” A voice came from behind Paige.

Paige’s eyes went wide and she whirled around quickly. She smiled and let out a laugh as her arms wrapped around the source of the voice “Oh my god, I didn’t think you could make it!”

“Really? And miss the rebirth of the infamous McCullers’ block party?” The tiny girl that Paige had hugged pulled back now and laughed. “Please. Wild horses couldn’t stop me.”

Paige looked completely awestruck. She stared down at the smaller girl with a grin plastered on her face. She let out a happy sigh then leaned down to kiss the girl firmly. 

This made the other three girls stare with wide eyes. It was at that moment that they all realized they had never seen Paige with another girl before. It was weird. 

“I am so glad you made it” Paige beamed and turned around now to face the girls she had been talking to. Her arm remained around the girl that was no taller than Aria was and motioned to the three girls in front of her “These are some of my…” She glanced at Emily, then Alison, and perked an eyebrow before shrugging “Friends.”

The girl beamed with another bright smile. Her hair was nearly jet black and falling loosely around her face and shoulders to the middle of her back. Her skin had color but it was light. Definitely not white. A subtle caramel almost. Had Emily not known the girl was Indian she wouldn’t have been able to place her ethnicity correctly. Her dark brown eyes were light as she looked at the other girls and extended her hand to shake “I’m Bettiah but just call me Betts.”

“Oh my god” Emily grinned and reached out to take the extended hand excitedly. She gave it a firm shake but didn’t let it go immediately “I have heard so much about you!”

“You have?” Betts cocked her head to the side and looked at Paige. She eyed her suspiciously then looked back at Emily “That doesn’t sound like Paige at all. She never talks about me.”

Paige let out a laugh. The two shared a look and it was immediately obvious that it was an inside joke. Anyone who knew Paige knew how much she loved talking about the woman she was with.

Emily giggled softly because, well, she got it. She knew how Paige was. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Emily.”

“This is Emily?” Betts’ jaw dropped a bit and she stepped away from Paige. She grabbed a hold of both of Emily’s hands and held her at arms length as if inspecting her. She nodded slowly as she took all of her in and after a moment she glanced back at Paige “You’re right, she’s a babe.”

“Okay” Paige blushed and looked at her feet as an awkward laugh came out. “You can stop.”

Emily blushed too. She fought off a smile and nodded “Well thank you. You’re absolutely gorgeous yourself, Betts.”

Betts took an over dramatic, playful bow then bounced back to her toes. She looked Emily over again and nodded “In all seriousness it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard literally everything about you.”

“I believe it” Emily glanced at Paige with a smirk.

Paige blushed again. She drew in a deep breath and it was obvious this was awkward for her. She cleared her throat and looked at Hanna “And this is Hanna.”

“Hanna” Betts nodded and moved to shake the new hand now. “One of Emily’s best friends.”

“The best” Hanna corrected. She glanced at Emily and smirked before looking back at Betts. “So nice to meet you.”

“And this is Alison” Paige motioned to the last girl standing in the group. 

Alison hadn’t blinked since she had seen Paige kiss this other girl. She was completely in shock. She looked like she had left her body and was just standing there in some sort of partially awake coma.

“Alison” Betts said with a nod and offered out her hand to shake.

This seemed to snap Alison back into her body. She quickly reached out for her hand and nodded “I’m sorry but who are you?”

Betts fought off a smile then motioned to Paige behind her “I’m married to this one standing behind me muttering and dying from embarrassment right now.”

Paige blushed harder.

Alison blinked. Her jaw dropped open. She shook her head just once then cocked it to the side in thought “Did you say married?”

Betts nodded. She pulled her left hand up and showed off the ring she wore “Two years now. Oh, that reminds me.” She turned around to face Paige and dug into the pocket of the little sundress she was wearing. She smiled as she produced an envelope and handed it over to her wife “Found this in the top drawer of your desk. You must have taken it off while you were typing again.”

“My ring?” Paige grabbed for the envelope excitedly. She smiled as she poured it out of the little pouch and into her hand. She quickly slipped it back onto her finger and let out a happy sigh “Does this mean I’m off the hook now?”

“Barely” Betts teased, giving her a smirk. “Next time check there first will you?” She looked her wife up and down just once then gave her a wink before looking back at Alison.

“You’re married?” Alison pointed to Paige. Then to Betts. She shook her head and looked at Emily “Did you know about this?”

“Of course I did” Emily said calmly. She smiled at Betts and motioned to the cup she held in her own hand “Can I get you a drink?”

“You’re right, Paige. She is quite charming” Betts glanced at Paige then looked back to Emily with a wink. She held out her hand for the girl to take and nodded “Lead the way, beautiful.”

Emily blushed again. She reached out and took the hand of the girl she barely knew in her own. She motioned for her to follow and the two of them headed down the yard to where the drinks were being held.

“She’s awesome” Hanna smiled once the other two were out of earshot. “And adorable! Makes me miss Aria with how tiny she is.”

Paige laughed, her eyes lingering on the two girls at the drink table. “Yeah she’s tiny but she has more energy than anyone I have ever met.”

Alison cleared her throat and when Paige looked at her she pointed to where Emily and Betts were “You’re married?”

“Yes” Paige said firmly but patiently.

“And have been?” Alison asked softly.

“Two years” Paige held up two fingers to emphasize the point.

Alison, still looking shocked, looked across the yard again. She could see Emily and Betts now laughing over something. She curled her brows together as she thought about all of the information she had just had thrown at her. She was definitely re-evaluating everything that had happened that summer. She shook her head and looked back at Paige. She breathed out a soft “I am so sorry.”

Paige didn’t need to ask what Alison was apologizing for. She knew. She knew Alison meant she was sorry she had harassed her and accused her of trying to win back Emily. She was apologizing for trying to frame Paige for punching her. She was sorry for it all. So Paige just nodded and offered the girl a shrug and a smile “No worries, Alison.”

Hanna perked an eyebrow as she watched the exchange. She was almost certain this was the first time she had ever seen Alison sincerely apologize to anyone. Who would have thought it would be Paige McCullers of all people. 

“So” Emily and Betts had returned with new drinks in hand. Emily grinned at her new friend and nodded “Betts was just about to tell me how you two met but she insisted I ask you, Paige.”

Paige groaned.

Betts laughed “I told you she loves this story!”

Just then a loud boom was heard above. Everyone turned their eyes to the sky. Emily smiled widely then looked at the group in front of her “Okay, story will have to wait. It’s time for fireworks.” 

Everyone agreed and their eyes stayed toward the sky. Emily moved now to stand next to Alison. She slid her arm around the woman and leaned in to kiss just above her ear before she whispered “You still look a little like you are in shock. Are you okay?”

“No” Alison admitted with a shake of her head. She glanced to Emily and shrugged just once “I am a horrible person, Em.”

“No, you’re-”

Before Emily could get out the argument Alison had turned and walked away. This was all too much for her. She had been awful to Emily. She had thought the worst about Paige. She had done terrible things to try and get Emily as far away from Paige that summer as possible. Now she was starting to see that maybe everything Emily had said that summer was fair. Maybe she really was just that awful and, most importantly, maybe she needed to seriously sit down and re-think her entire outlook on life. Especially her life with Emily. If there still was one, after all.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

“Hey” Emily finally found Alison standing near one of the trees in the front yard of the McCullers’ home. She walked up to her slowly, her brow creased with concern, and her head giving a shake “What happened just then?”

“Emily, I-” Alison was cut off by hopefully the last boom of fireworks. Instinctively her eyes turned upwards to see the bright colors burn in the sky. She frowned at that. She was not enjoying the fireworks this year.

Emily glanced up but her eyes quickly returned back to Alison. She frowned and approached her slowly until she closed the gap between them. She reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “What is going on, Ali? Talk to me?”

Alison shook her head. She let out a loud breath of a sigh and her eyes blinked as she slowly brought them from the sky down to where Emily stood in front of her. She licked at her lips and shrugged slightly “I was dead set on painting Paige as this horrible person that had returned to town for the sole purpose of breaking us up and stealing you away. And when I thought she might be succeeding I…” She trailed off and motioned to her own eye that was now barely bruised and shook her head again. “I was so ugly for no reason because Paige wasn’t coming after you.”

“I know” Emily said softly. Her hand moved from Alison’s shoulder to her back. She started to rub it very slowly. “But why is that so upsetting to you?”

Alison just shook her head and shrugged. Her eyes dropped and she looked at her feet. She was too ashamed to look at Emily. She cleared her throat and mumbled softly “I realized that I am so used to manipulating people to get what I want or to steer things in my direction that sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing it…” She slowly lifted her head so her eyes came up to find Emily’s. She frowned and gave another slight shake of her head “It’s like this gross addiction I didn’t realize that I was hiding behind until just now.”

“Hiding from what?” Emily asked softly. She wasn’t really upset. She was a little surprised that Alison was being so honest about all of it. She was almost certain this was the most honest she had ever seen Alison be in her entire life.

Alison just shrugged at the question. She let out a heavy sigh and her eyes dropped in shame to her feet again. She lifted a hand to wipe at a tear that had come from her eye before she dared looked back up at Emily again. She tried to put a smile on her lips but it fell short and she let out a tired sounding breath “Everything. Feelings. Happiness. You know I am terrified of everything good being taken away from me. So when I think that is happening I go into panic mode, apparently.”

“First of all” Emily started, taking her hand off of Alison’s back now and straightening up slightly. “I am kind of offended that you thought that Paige could just sweep in here after leaving me five years ago and take me away from you. Secondly, I am not something to be taken. I am a human being, Alison. I deserve to be treated as such. I have my own thoughts and my own feelings and, yeah, sometimes I need to be pointed in the right direction but only sometimes. I am still figuring all of this out but what I have known for sure up until a few weeks ago was that I made the best decision in my entire life when I chose to raise those babies with you.”

Alison nodded slightly. She opened her mouth to talk but Emily wasn’t done and kept talking.

“Yeah, Paige came into town and she opened my eyes to some things I had suspected but been too stubborn to admit to myself because I did not want to admit that I was being taken advantage of. But that doesn’t, by any means, indicate I was just gonna drop everything and go to her because it seemed easier. I stand by the choice I made. Sometimes I think about whether or not it was right. Sometimes I dream about what life would be like had I chosen to be with Paige.” Emily shrugged, biting her lip now, almost ashamed of the confession she had just made. “I’m human, Alison. We all wonder what if sometimes. But the fact of the matter is I have stayed. And these past few weeks have not been easy on me.”

Alison gave another slight nod. She licked her lips and reached out now to put her hand against Emily’s arm “These have been the worst weeks of my life and that includes all the time I was in hiding in fear for my life.”

Emily studied Alison’s face when she spoke. She could see the actual genuine truth behind her words. She gave a nod at that and a small smile came to her lips “Promise?”

Alison nodded quickly now. She offered Emily a soft smile and reached up now to touch at her cheek. She looked at her as if she was looking at her for the first time and she breathed out softly “I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life.”

“Good” Emily pointed at her firmly. Her stern features faded and she smiled. She leaned in to kiss lightly at Alison’s lips. It was soft and sweet but it didn’t take away from the significance of it. It was the first kiss they had shared in weeks. 

Pulling back from the kiss, Emily licked her lips. Her smile lingered and she looked into Alison’s eyes when they came open. She gave her just one nod then spoke again “I still don’t know what I am going to do and where I am emotionally. But I think I am ready to come home.”

Alison bit her lip to hide the smile that wanted to take over every feature on her face. She nodded and let out a sound that was a mix of a laugh and relieved sigh “Really? You’ll come home?”

Emily nodded just once. She couldn’t fight her own smile. “As long as you promise to be as honest with me from now on as you were with me tonight?”

“Always” Alison answered quickly. 

Emily nodded again and leaned in for one more quick kiss. She let out a sigh as they pulled apart. She lifted her hand now and offered it for Alison to take then motioned back toward the house “Now how about we go back, join our friends, and celebrate your favorite holiday right?”

“Sounds incredible” Alison took Emily’s hand and gave it a happy squeeze. She let Emily lead the way. They were only a few steps toward the house when she paused though.

When Emily felt Alison stop she stopped as well. She turned around and again concern painted her face as she looked at the other woman “What’s wrong?”

“Will you promise me something?” Alison barely whispered the words as if she had been afraid to speak them.

Emily nodded. The look on Alison’s face told her this was serious.

“Promise me you won’t stay because there isn’t anything else out there for you” Alison said softly. When she saw Emily about to defend herself, she continued softly “I mean just because we have the girls and…” She motioned toward the path that led to the backyard where Paige was located and shrugged “Because, whether or not you want to admit it, she has been your back-up plan since high school.” She just gave another shrug and sighed “Don’t stay just because you don’t think you have any other options. I want you to stay because you know without a doubt it is where you want to be forever.”

Emily moved closer to Alison again. Her heart was racing. She wasn’t sure she had ever heard Alison put anything but her own needs first. She reached out and took her chin into her hand, pulling it until their eyes were locked together. She looked straight into Alison’s soul and whispered softly “That is the only reason I would ever stay and I need you to believe that.”

Alison nodded again just once more. She licked her lips and let out a shaky breath. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Emily look that intense in her entire life “I believe you.”

“Good” Emily offered her a soft smile then took her hand away from Alison’s chin. She immediately lightened up her demeanor then motioned behind her once more “Now let’s go party.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	5. Going all in

“There you two are! We thought you got lost” Betts chirped with a bright smile as Emily and Alison joined the group. They had moved to sit on some chairs but had saved two for the ladies who had disappeared when the fireworks had started. 

“Yeah, finally” Hanna huffed with a smile. “I have been dying to hear the story of how Paige and Betts met but Betts insisted I had to wait for you to come back.”

“Sorry” Alison mumbled softly. She looked at Paige and offered her a smile before she moved to sit into one of the empty chairs.

Emily took her own seat next to Hanna. Hanna leaned over and whispered “Everything okay?”

Emily gave a nod and held up a thumb to indicate everything was good.

Hanna smiled at that. She had been worried. She had honestly thought they would fight and have to go home early. She was glad that wasn’t the case. She brightened up a bit now and looked wide eyed at Paige and Betts across from her “Okay! They are back now! Can we please hear how you met?”

Betts grinned widely over at Paige. She took her hand and gave it a squeeze “Want me to tell it?”

“Please no” Paige groaned and let out a laugh. “Somehow it is even more embarrassing when you tell it.”

“Oh come on it’s not that bad” Betts rolled her eyes. She grinned then looked at the group across from her. “It’s cute.”

“Oh I bet” Emily said with a smirk. She looked at Paige and winked. She knew all too well how cute and endearing Paige’s awkwardness could be. She had no doubt this story was filled with awkwardness.

Paige let out a heavy sigh of defeat and shook her head “Fine. It’s not that great anyway.” She gave a roll of her eyes then cleared her throat. 

“So it was my first year coaching at Iowa” Paige started with a little shrug. “I was still getting lost all the time because that campus is huge. Anyway, I was looking for the athletic department main offices, you know? I had a meeting with one of the heads there. Progress report or whatever. So I am all turned around and running late and finally I see a door that looks familiar so I slip inside. I immediately go into an apology about being late and I’m mumbling and it’s not until every eye in the room is on me that I realize I am in the wrong room.”

Betts laughed softly “Seriously, she just bursts in and interrupts everything. It was adorable.”

Paige let out a sigh of a laugh and shook her head at Betts. She reached for her drink and sipped before she continued “I realize I’ve interrupted a serious lecture. I turn about fourteen shades of red and reach for the door while saying I am sorry.”

“Bright red” Betts agreed, holding back a giggle.

Paige blushed softly at that. She cleared her throat and pushed on “The professor giving the lecture stops me. Tells me to take my seat and that she hopes someone in the room is generous enough to share notes because I had missed fifteen minutes of the lesson.”

Emily let out a soft laugh “Oh my god she thought you were in the class?”

Paige laughed softly and grinned at Emily “Every time I tried to explain that I wasn’t a student she told me the more I spoke the more questions would be on the exam.”

Emily giggled at that. Hanna put a hand over her mouth to hide her laugh. Even Alison was smiling at this point.

“So I sit” Paige relented with a laugh. “Only there weren’t any aisle seats available so I had to awkwardly stumble through people already sitting to find the nearest seat I could!”

Emily’s head fell back and she let out a loud laugh.

Hanna laughed and shook her head “Why didn’t you just leave? You weren’t a student!”

Betts smirked at that “A question I still ask to this day.”

“The professor was intimidating!” Paige motioned her hand out in a sort of wave of defense. “She had these strong eyes and a stern voice and I was still new. The last thing I needed was her finding out who I was and telling my boss I was interrupting lectures!”

Emily was biting her lip to fight more laughs.

Alison laughed too. She shook her head in complete amusement.

“So the end of the lecture comes” Betts nodded, smiling at Paige to encourage her to keep going.

“Right. I sit through an hour of a lecture on Psychology versus Sociology and I miss my meeting completely so I am thinking I am about to lose my job. So as soon as the professor excuses everyone I make a bolt for the door.” Paige shook her head and took another drink.

“But the professor stops you” Betts continued since Paige was drinking.

“And for some reason I go down there” Paige laughed the words out. “She stops me from leaving and beckons me to come talk to her at the front of the class and for some unknown reason I go.” She licks her lips and motions to Betts “And the first thing out of my mouth is how sorry I am for interrupting and that it will never happen again as if I am really in this class!”

Betts laughs again. By this point Paige and Betts are just playing off each other, completely amused, and everyone else is watching. It is obvious just how well they get along to anyone who is watching them.

“So she stops my apology” Paige continues with another laugh. “She says to me…” Paige cleared her throat and did a different voice than her own “First of all I am not the professor so don’t worry. Secondly, I know you’re not a student here.”

“What!?” Emily gasped out followed by a laugh. She was completely enthralled by the story, and quite honestly, watching the chemistry between Paige and Betts.

“Yeah” Paige laughs softly. “She tells me she is a Senior and the Professor’s aide who does lectures for him once a week.”

“But she knows who you are?” Hanna asked looking a little confused.

“Yeah” Paige smiled. She glanced at Betts and shook her head “Said she’s a huge supporter of the athletics on campus and had been to plenty of meets that year.”

“So why did she make you stay in the lecture?” Alison asked now, which kind of surprised everyone. She shrugged off everyone looking at her in shock then looked back at Paige for the answer.

“Said she wanted to give me a little shit” Paige said with a smirk. She looked around the group of people all listening to her story then back to Betts with a loving smile “Said because I interrupted her I owed her coffee so she wanted to make sure I held up my end of the bargain that I didn’t even know I had made.”

“Wait” Alison spoke again. She motioned between Betts and Paige and perked her head “Betts was the one giving the lecture?”

Paige smiled and looked out to the group “Yep. She was a few months from graduating at the time.”

“And a huge swim fan” Betts added with a smile. “Big supporter of all sports, honestly. But I saw Paige at the first meet of the season and…” She let out a happy sigh and looked over at her wife “I knew if I ever got the chance to say hi, I would.”

“Just so happens I stumbled into her lecture a few months later” Paige nodded happily.

Betts smiled over at Paige and nodded “Lucky for me.”

“How cute” Hanna swooned.

Emily was grinning ear to ear. She loved seeing Paige so happy. “So what happened when you told her she had to take you out for coffee?”

Betts laughed softly and took her eyes off of Paige and looked back to the others around them “She said it was the least she could do for barging in on me. So we had coffee the next day.”

“Wait, isn’t dating a teacher illegal?” Alison asked with a perked eyebrow. She looked around and a smirk came to her face “I was gonna say ask Aria but she wouldn’t know either.”

Everyone laughed. Even Betts. It was obvious Paige had filled her in on the circle of people she had been involved with in high school.

After the laughter died down, Betts nodded and continued “That’s the thing about it. Paige didn’t think the coffee was a date. She didn’t think the first couple times we hung out were dates either. It wasn’t until I had already graduated that she took me out for a really fancy dinner and she was all nervous…” She smirked and reached out to lightly touch at Paige’s face “and she plucked up the courage to ask if I would like to be her girlfriend. I had to fight off my laughter because as far as I was concerned I had been hers from the day she heard my coffee order and told me I should let her make me coffee one day because it would be better than anything I could get from any coffee shop.”

Paige blushed a bright red. Her head shook against Betts’ hand and she leaned in to give the girl a soft kiss.

Emily put a hand on her heart as she watched the kiss unfold. “I am melting. That is so damn cute. It literally puts to shame to any of our meet-cutes.”

Hanna let out a laugh and nodded “Yeah. I met my Caleb when I thought he was a thug runaway who was also secretly torturing me and my friends.”

“Spencer and Toby” Emily nodded with a shrug. “We were all terrified of him because we thought he was a killer.”

“Aria and Ezra” Hanna continued with a laugh “I am pretty sure they met at a bar when Aria was like sixteen, right?”

“I think so, yeah” Emily agreed with a laugh.

“We were thirteen” Alison spoke out of seemingly nowhere. When everyone turned at her sudden input, she looked up and gave what looked like a shy smile. She glanced at Emily and shook her head just once “I had always been jealous of you and your circle of friends so one day I decided to just…” She motioned to Emily and Hanna and shrugged “…assert myself.”

“You walked up to us like you knew us” Emily recalled with a nod. She smiled as she looked at Alison with light in her eyes as she remembered the moment. “I will never forget what you said to us” She laughed softly then cleared her throat before doing her best Alison impressions “Hey, bitches. I’m Alison and we’re friends now.”

“And that was it” Hanna agreed with a nod.

Alison smiled and reached out to put a hand on Emily’s knee. “I had watched you guys for weeks. It was the last year of middle school and I knew if I wanted to go into high school as a queen bee I needed support. You girls were so close and though you were all different that didn’t seem to hinder your connection. That is why I chose you all.”

Emily smiled softly. She reached down and put her hand over where Alison’s sat on her leg. She slid her fingers between Alison’s and gave a soft squeeze “I remember you slid your arm through mine and started to lead us all through the hallway as if we had been friends forever.”

Alison gave a nod at that “I was terrified you would reject me so I didn’t give any of you a chance.”

Hanna laughed very softly at that “You sure didn’t. But for what it’s worth I am glad you didn’t.”

“Me either” Emily whispered. She looked at Alison with a new light in her eyes. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen this vulnerable side of Alison in her entire life. She had known her for over fifteen years now and she had never known Alison to be this soft. She had to admit she liked it.

“You’re right” Paige cleared her throat to softly interrupt and bring everyone back into the conversation. “All of your meet-cutes don’t hold a candle to Betts and I.”

Emily laughed softly at that and turned her eyes back to Paige. She gave her a nod then motioned to Betts “Does she know how you tried to woo me?”

“Oh please no” Paige whispered and let out a soft groan.

Everyone else laughed because they all knew. Betts perked an eyebrow at Paige and smiled very softly “Paige has been very open about her past, especially when it comes to you Emily.” She gave her a nod then looked back at Paige “But for some reason I feel you have left out a detail or two.”

“It’s not that great” Paige mumbled softly.

“It’s not” Emily agreed. She reached out passed Alison and put a hand on Paige’s knee. She gave it a soft pat and when their eyes met it showed that Emily, to this day, did not hold it against her. She straightened up and sat back in her chair and smiled. “Paige and I have been swimming together since we were eight.”

Paige nodded in agreement then looked at Betts “But she barely realized I was alive. She was always the superstar of the team.”

“Oh come on” Emily laughed out softly.

“You were” Hanna agreed.

“Always” Alison chimed in. “It was obnoxious because I always wanted to be the center of attention.” She laughed softly at that. It was true but they all knew that and laughed about it now.

Emily just rolled her eyes. She looked back to Paige and shook her head “I knew who you were. We just never…talked.” Emily shrugged at that and motioned to Paige “Which we already discussed and you know was your fault.”

“Yeah yeah” Paige waved her off. She looked at Betts and shrugged “When I was sixteen and I realized I might be gay I was drowning in homophobic self hatred so I lashed out at the only person I knew at school that was out and proud…” She motioned to Emily and her shoulders drooped in shame.

“What?” Betts looked stunned. That did not sound like the Paige she knew.

Emily nodded but waved it off lightly “She tried to scare me out of coming for her position on the team by dunking my head under water.”

“I wasn’t trying to drown her” Paige added quickly.

“Oh of course not” Emily agreed. “If she was she picked the worst time to do so. I was at the wall of the pool. But she tried to scare me off the team by threatening me.” She shrugged and her eyes landed on Paige. She could see her frowning and she shook her head “The only thing she managed to do was make me listen to her cry for help.”

Paige blushed softly again. She bit her lip and looked at Emily in that way that she always had. In the way that told Emily she thought she was the most incredible person in the world she had ever met. She gave her a soft smile and spoke softly “I honestly don’t think I’d be here right now if it wasn’t for you.”

Alison sunk in her seat. She felt so awful. She knew it was because of her that Paige had contemplated ending it all. She was so ashamed. 

“I am endlessly grateful that I got the chance to be that person for you” Emily said sincerely.

“Awww” Hanna cooed softly. She clapped her hands together and chanted a few times “Hug, hug, hug!”

Paige laughed. Emily laughed. But when Betts pushed Paige’s shoulder, she stood. She was glad when Emily stood too and the two of them stepped together for an embrace. Paige closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and she felt at home. She was happy in her marriage, more happy than she had ever been in her entire life, but that didn’t mean that being near Emily would ever stop feeling right. Home was a place you felt like you could be yourself without judgment. Home was a place you grew up. Home was a place you brought family and friends to when you wanted to show them where you came from. To Paige, Emily would always be home for her. Even as she stood in the backyard of her childhood home she felt more relaxed with Emily anywhere in the world than she did in that house.

When they pulled back from the hug, Emily moved her hands up to cup at Paige’s face. She smiled as their eyes met and she whispered softly to her “I love you and I am so proud of who you have become.”

Paige nodded as a smile crept over her lips. She breathed out a soft “I love you, too, Em. Always and forever.”

“Awwww” Hanna cooed again. She was simply beaming watching her friends be happy. She had honestly always rooted for Emily and Paige and though they couldn’t be together as lovers she was so happy to see that they were now and would always be friends.

The girls returned to their seats and the conversation flowed surprisingly to another subject. As the night went on and the party goers all faded out, the girls all sat there sharing stories and laughing together. It was like the good old days. It was moments like these that made everything else worth going through.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Betts sat on the end of Paige’s childhood bed looking around. She had been in the bedroom a few times before but she felt like each time she was there she saw something new. Paige never ceased to interest her in some way. There was not a day that passed that she was not completely enthralled by the woman she had married.

“You’re quiet” Paige said softly from where she sat at the head of her bed reading over some paperwork that Betts had brought to her from home.

“Oh you know me, mocha, I am a processor” Betts looked behind her and grinned widely.

Paige didn’t even look up from her papers. She just smiled “Have I thanked you yet for not calling me that in front of my friends tonight?”

“You don’t have to” Betts laughed lightly with a shrug. She turned now and crawled up the bed until she was next to Paige. She laid on her side and propped her head onto her hand as she watched Paige read “I know how much you hate that nickname. Besides I wanted to make a good impression. They can’t know how relentlessly I tease you on the daily or they would not like me.”

“They’d probably like you more” Paige finally looked up from her papers. She smiled over at her wife and nodded “They loved you, by the way. In case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t” Betts shrugged slightly. “You know I don’t need validation from others to feel like I fit in.”

“Oh my god” Paige laughed now and put her papers aside. “I know you like to act like you don’t care but you care way too much and if there is anyone you wanted to impress more than my parents it was my friends.”

Betts rolled her eyes. She rolled onto her back and shrugged again “Eh, whatever.”

Paige smirked. She loved when Betts pretended not to be invested. She got invested quickly and completely. It was one of the things that Paige loved most about her. She reached out now and poked lightly at Betts’ side “Well since you don’t care I won’t read you the text Emily sent about you.”

Betts lit up. She rolled back to her side and gave Paige a wide grin “Well since you brought it up….”

“Ha!” Paige pointed as if she had just caught Betts in a lie. She shook her head in amusement and leaned in to kiss her lightly. When she leaned back from the kiss she smirked “I lied, there is no text.”

“No, you’re lying now” Betts smirked, pointing at her wife. “You are such an awful liar! What did Emily say?”

Paige rolled her eyes and breathed out a laugh. She hated how well Betts knew her. “Honestly she just said it was lovely to meet you and she hopes we can hang out again before you leave.”

Betts nodded at that with a smile “She was so lovely, mocha. I am so happy to have finally met her. And that moment you two had with the hug?” She put a hand to her heart and nodded “Beautiful. I love seeing you two together. There is a connection I’m not sure I’ve ever seen before.”

Paige rolled her eyes at that. Betts was kind of a drama queen but in a playful way and she just figured she was being dramatic at the moment. She just shrugged and looked at her wife with a curious glance “It doesn’t threaten you?”

“Absolutely not” Betts said with a firm shake of her head. She moved now to slide right up next to Paige. She slid her arm around her waist and looked up at her with sincerity in her eyes “We have spent hours talking about her. I know everything you went through together and apart. I know what she means to you and to the person you have grown into. I am not threatened by it because whether I was here or not that connection and friendship you two have will always be there. You made your choice. As much as you have told me about her situation, it all boils down to the fact that you had a choice. You could have stayed and fought and competed for her but you knew better. You took care of you.” She moved her hand now and put it over Paige’s heart “You put your love and you instincts to be with Emily away and you took care of you. And because of that fact…” She lifted now and touched a small kiss to Paige’s lips. She smiled and whispered against her lips “…there isn’t a doubt in the world that you are exactly where you are meant to be. And I think you know that too.”

“Absolutely” Paige mumbled into the kiss. She closed her eyes and her hand moved to the back of Betts’ head to keep her there. She pushed her lips more firmly into the kiss and the two of them let it fall into a deeper embrace. It was soft and slow and lingered for several minutes but never moved passed the two of them simply kissing and holding one another.

Finally, Betts pulled back. She bit at her lip and with a dreamy nod added “And when you kiss me like that I definitely have no doubts.”

Paige laughed softly at that. She licked over her own lips and moved her hand to slide down along her wife’s back “You shouldn’t. I have never been kissed by anyone the way I have been kissed by you.”

“Good. It’s my way of sealing the deal to make sure you stay forever” Betts teased. She leaned up and kissed her once more quickly before she moved to settle against Paige so her head was resting on her shoulder. She was quiet a moment before she was reminded of something and she sat up again. She swatted playfully at Paige and scowled “How come you never told me you tried to drown Emily?”

“I didn’t try to-” Paige gasped then gave up. She shook her head and let out a sigh “I didn’t want you to look at me differently. That was, by far, one of the worst moments of my life!”

“Babe you’ve told me literally everything about you” Betts sat up completely now. She turned to face Paige and folded her legs in front of her. “If there is anyone in this world that understands the human condition and how we all react to diversity differently it is me!” She motioned to herself feverishly “Double Master’s degrees in Human Behavior and Psychology!”

“I know” Paige frowned slightly. “But…” She sighed and just shrugged “It’s probably the only moment in my life I wish I could erase. I know regrets aren’t useful in the long run and lingering in the past doesn’t help us move forward and all that but that is the one moment…” She shook her head and shrugged again “It was just awful. I am just glad I figured out why I did what I did before I took it too far, you know?”

Betts nodded, pointing at her nose as if to indicate Paige had nailed it. She smiled and reached out to take her wife’s hand in her own “The fact that you self corrected and worked to improve after your first offense is like the epitome of being a good person! No one is ever perfect their entire lives-”

“You are” Paige interrupted with a grin.

“Shut the fuck up” Betts dead panned before continuing with a smile “Mistakes shape us more than any perfection can. That event is probably the one that sent you on the path to where you are now. Have you done something that terrible since?”

“Hell no” Paige said quickly, almost looking appalled that she would ask that.

“Exactly” Betts tapped her nose again. She leaned in and kissed lightly at Paige’s cheek before giving her a nod “Don’t ever be ashamed of your past unless you haven’t made any strives to be better. And you have.” 

Paige nodded. She had heard Betts say that a hundred times and she was right. Paige had become a much better person than she had started out as and she was grateful for that.

“Hey, speaking of making strives to be better” Betts continued onto a new subject without pause as she shifted to lay back next to Paige “Alison didn’t seem as bad as you made her out to be.”

“Well to be fair the worst of what she did to me was in high school” Paige mumbled softly. “But you are right she was really kind of…” She tried to find the right word to describe Alison’s demeanor that night. She shrugged and settled on “…humbled. It was weird. I mean, nice, because there were no snide remarks but definitely weird.”

“Maybe what you said to Emily really made an impact” Betts mumbled through a yawn. She shrugged and settled down against the bed completely now. She let out a sigh as she let her body relax “Do you think Emily is going to leave her?”

“I have no idea” Paige said with a shrug. She moved now to flip off the bedside lamp that had been illuminating the room. She shifted once it was dark to settle on the mattress next to Betts. She slid her arm around her from behind and let herself relax into the mattress. Her eyes closed and she let out a heavy breath. She was happy. More happy than she might have ever been in her life. She just hoped that Emily could find this level of happiness, too.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was a week after the neighborhood block party and Emily found herself outside the McCullers’ house for the first time in a week. She had been doing all she could to keep herself busy so she didn’t overthink her situation with Alison. It had been nice to be back home but it also felt different. She was still unsure of what she was going to do. So, after trying to figure it out on her own she found herself in the only place she felt she would find answers.

Emily knocked lightly on the door. She never knew when Paige’s dad might be asleep. She chewed her lip nervously as she waited for the door to be answered.

“I got it!” Came the call of a voice familiar to Emily in a new way. When the door was pulled open, it was Betts on the other side and not Paige.

Emily blinked in surprise. She had no idea why she was surprised. She knew Betts had come to visit. She offered a smile and nod to the woman “Hey, Betts. I am sorry for dropping by but is Paige here?”

“Emily” Betts said with a smile. She stepped out onto the porch, motioned behind her to the house she had just stepped out of and nodded “She’s just finishing up getting ready. She should be down in a few minutes.”

“Cool” Emily nodded. She licked her lips and looked down at her feet. Without the encouragement of alcohol making her friendly she actually felt a little awkward now in front of Betts. She rocked up on her toes and looked back up, offering her a forced smile.

Betts laughed very softly and motioned to the step that led down to the cement path in front of the house “Care to sit?”

Emily looked at the step then nodded quickly. She sat down then waited for Betts to join her. She opened her mouth to speak but decided against it. So she just sighed and looked out over the front yard.

Betts could tell Emily was uncomfortable. She looked at her and spoke gently so she didn’t seem like she was prying or pushing too much “You know, I might only be a Forensics Psychologist and not an actual therapist but if you need to talk I am a really good listener.”

Emily let out a soft laugh and looked at the girl beside her “Is it that obvious?”

“I am really good at reading people” Betts said with a nod. “It’s kind of what I do.” She gave the girl a smile then motioned with her hand in a beckoning fashion toward herself “So, what’s on your mind?”

Emily let out another soft sigh. She gave her head a shake and looked down at her feet now “I am still stuck on what I want. I feel like after most of the summer thinking it over I should have come up with a pretty clear answer by now. But every time I think I’ve decide I get this overwhelming wave of dread that it might be the wrong choice.”

Betts nodded slowly. She took in the words and processed them for a moment. It was easy to see she was in her element. After a little thought she glanced back at Emily “What is terrifying you the most? I mean what seems to be the recurring theme that is bringing the most fear?”

“Being alone” Emily’s voice trembled softly. She shrugged and glanced at Betts “That after all this time I am finally being given an actual choice in what I want in my life and that I might ruin it all by making the wrong decision.”

“Can I ask you something and have you answer completely honestly?” Betts was still speaking softly. It was creepy how professional she was sounding because the last time Emily had seen her she was a bubbly, goofy, outgoing girl laughing at jokes in Paige’s backyard.

“Of course” Emily agreed gently. Her heart started to pound. She was almost sure Betts was about to ask about Paige.

“Have any of the choices that people have made for you up until this point in your life made you happier than the thought of being able to make a choice for yourself?”

That hadn’t been what Emily had expected. In fact it was much deeper. She blinked just once as she processed the question. She thought it over slowly, really taking her time to consider it’s depth. She took in a deep breath and after a moment let it out in a sigh before looking back to Betts “No. And maybe that’s what scares me most? That most of my life, if things went bad, it wasn’t exactly my fault because I wasn’t in control. But now I am in charge of what comes next and if it goes bad I have no one to blame but myself.”

Betts nodded as if she had anticipated that answer. She reached out and put a hand on Emily’s shoulder. She stood up now and offered a smile when Emily looked up at her. “Fear just means you have something to live for. Remember that.”

“Hey” Paige stepped out onto the porch now. She eyed her wife and her ex together and perked an eyebrow “Everything alright?”

“Perfect” Betts nodded with a grin. She offered her hand down to Emily now, pulling her up to her feet somehow even though Emily had at least six inches on her. “I will leave you two to it” Betts gave a playful bow and winked at Emily. She stepped up onto the porch now and paused near Paige. She leaned up to kiss her cheek then looked back to Emily “I think you know what you want. My advice is to just go for it.”

“Thank you” Emily said with a sincere nod of her head and a smile on her lips.

“It’s what I do” Betts looked back at Paige and nodded. She moved back to the door but paused before she reached it. She turned around and stepped back toward Emily “Here” She nodded softly, offering over a business card with her contact information on it. “Call anytime you need, okay? No charge.” She laughed soft at that. When Emily reached up to take the card, she held it tightly so the girl couldn’t take it yet. When Emily looked at her a little confused, her face went more serious and she looked her dead in the eyes “Alison too.”

Emily felt her heart skip a beat at how Betts looked at her. She was such a kind person. She could see why Paige loved her. She offered a shy smile and nodded slightly “I promise.”

“Cool” Betts face went from serious to bright as she smiled in response to Emily’s response. After releasing the business card she turned again toward the house, moving passed Paige and giving her ass a playful slap as she did so “She’s all yours, mocha” She smirked as a devious laugh left her lips and she disappeared into the house.

Paige blushed as her body jolted from the ass slap. She bit her lip and glanced back at the now closed door before looking back to Emily with a shake of her head “She’s literally like having a puppy every day of my life.”

Emily let out a soft laugh “I like her a lot.” She motioned to the door and cocked her head to the side “And did she just call you mocha?”

Paige groaned. She rolled her eyes at that and let out a sigh “I was hoping you hadn’t heard that.”

Emily was grinning widely now. She could tell by Paige’s demeanor that it was another embarrassing story “Well now you have to tell me why she calls you that.”

Paige rolled her eyes again and motioned for Emily to sit down on the step again. Once they both moved to do so and they were side by side, Paige glanced at her friend “It was our third time grabbing coffee and walking around campus talking. I was rambling on about swimming. There was one of the girls on my team that had just broken a record and it had reminded me of junior year when I broke your record” She looked over at Emily with a smirk because she knew how competitive they both were.

“Don’t remind me” Emily mumbled with a playful frown. “I never got the chance to get it back from you.”

“I have a pool” Paige motioned behind her toward the backyard where the pool was. “You wanna go?”

Emily let out a laugh and nodded “Maybe next time, mocha.”

Paige groaned again and snapped her eyes shut “I hate you.”

Emily’s grin spread from ear to ear and she gave her friend a nudge with her shoulder “Anyway, you were saying.”

Paige let out a sigh and opened her eyes to look back at her friend. It was easy to tell she was getting back to the embarrassing part of story “I had just taken a drink of my coffee and I turned to continue my story and the next thing I know Betts is kissing me with my mouth full.”

Emily let out a loud laugh. She gasped at her own reaction and covered her mouth to both shush her laugh and hide her blush. She stared at her friend and giggled behind her fingers.

Paige laughed at Emily’s laugh. As embarrassing as this story was it wasn’t too bad getting to hear Emily laugh at it. “She realized she had just kissed me with my mouth full and immediately started to apologize. I opened my mouth to tell her it was okay but…” She let out a heavy sigh of defeat and shook her head in shame “I hadn’t swallowed so mocha just went…” She motioned from her mouth to her chin and down the front of her shirt.

“Oh my god” Emily laughed out despite her best efforts not to laugh at her poor friend.

“Yeah” Paige shrugged and laughed a little. “I even had drool like dangling from my chin.” She motioned once more to that area of her face “It was so attractive.”

Emily nodded just once, her lips pressed tightly together to fight off her laughter. She reached out and put a hand on her friend’s shoulder “You were always so charismatic.”

“Oh bite me” Paige shrugged out of Emily’s touch, pretending to be offended. She looked back at her friend and laughed it off “I froze. I stood there completely stunned and kind of wishing I was dead. Betts just laughed and leaned in and kissed me again, drool on my chin and everything. When she pulled back she licked her own lips and said ‘Mmm mocha’ then kept walking.”

“Oh my god” Emily laughed out again and shook her head. She put her hand over her heart and outwardly swooned at the story. “I love her, Paige. Like if you two don’t work out I might come steal her.”

Paige reached out and shoved Emily playfully and laughed “Back off, man.” She shook her head in amusement and nodded “But yeah she is something else. I am pretty lucky.”

“I am honestly so thrilled for you” Emily nodded more seriously. 

“Thanks” Paige gave her a humble smile. She looked at the sincerity in her friend’s eyes for a moment and her heart flipped. It was nice to know this woman who had been so important to her for so long still cared about her as much as she cared, too. After a moment she blinked and gave her head a shake “Oh, hey, did you need to talk to me about something?” 

“Oh” Emily waved it off and nodded “I did come here for that, yeah. But…” She motioned behind her toward the house “I think she helped me out.”

“Yeah she is good at that” Paige said with a laugh. She pushed off her knees now to stand up. Another groan came as she did so. She looked back at Emily and nodded toward the house “We were about to have lunch before we head back to Iowa. Do you want to join us?”

“Oh I don’t want to be a bother” Emily shook her head as she got to her feet as well.

“Please” Paige let out a laugh “Mom would love to have you to act as a buffer. She loves Betts but sometimes she talks about work a little too much and mom hates it. Besides, I am sure Betts would love to tell you a hundred more embarrassing stories about me.”

Emily bit her lip. She looked back at the house as she thought over the offer. It did sound nice. After a moment she smiled and gave a nod “Sure, why not?”

Paige smiled at that. She moved up the porch and to the door. She pulled open the door and motioned for Emily to go ahead in front of her. Paige followed her friend and as they rounded the corner into the kitchen she spoke to Betts who was setting the table “Em is gonna join us.”

“Figured” Betts smirked and motioned to the extra setting she had already put out.

Paige rolled her eyes. She hated how well Betts knew her sometimes.

Emily smiled softly “I’m not intruding am I?”

“Of course not” Betts reassured her then motioned for her to sit. She waited until Emily was settled before she sat next to her and grinned “So did she tell you the mocha story?”

Emily bit her lip to fight off a smile and nodded.

Betts grinned and glanced at Paige. When she saw Paige roll her eyes and sulk away to get the lunch from the oven she laughed softly “It was the moment I knew I loved her.”

“Awww oh my god” Emily swooned slightly. “Okay, you have to take my number so you can text me every time she does something embarrassing.”

“Please, no!” Paige whined out as she came back to the table with the food.

Betts laughed but gave a nod “Do you have unlimited texting?”

Emily let out a huff of a laugh as if that was a dumb question before reaching for some bread that Paige had just set down.

“Good” Betts grinned wider. “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Emily opened the front door of her house later that evening. She had stayed for lunch then gotten so wrapped up talking with Betts and Paige that they had left later than they had wanted to. She set her keys down and looked around “Alison?”

“In here” Alison called from the kitchen. 

Emily smiled and moved through the living room to where the voice had come from. When she rounded the corner she saw Alison in front of the stove. She was cooking. Emily perked an eyebrow at that. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Alison cooking without having to be guilt tripped into it. She smiled softly and leaned against the wall to watch for a second.

Alison laughed. She didn’t even have to turn around to know Emily was watching her. “I figured it would be nice for you to come home to dinner on the table.” She glanced over her shoulder now and smiled “You were a little earlier than expected.”

“It’s okay” Emily pushed off the wall now and walked over to Alison. “The gesture alone is enough. Thank you.” She leaned in and kissed Alison’s cheek gently before moving to the fridge. She opened it in search of something to drink.

A silence settled over them for a moment. Emily stood in front of the fridge and Alison in front of the stove. After finding a bottle of water, Emily pushed the door closed then turned to look back at Alison. She studied her for a moment before clearing her throat. She was suddenly nervous to speak but she knew she had to get it out now before she over thought it and changed her mind “Hey, Ali?”

“Yeah?” Alison looked up from what she was doing and offered Emily a smile to let her know she was listening.

“I’ve made up my mind” Emily said softly but with a firm nod.

Alison paused her stirring motion. She blinked once and drew in a deep breath. This was it. She licked her lips and looked back to Emily trying to remain as neutral as possible. She nodded once and whispered “I’m all ears.”


End file.
